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There's Only One Of Me!

June 28, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 199

I really believed I was a professional by now. I had the self-confidence of a great-great-great grandma, with 38 grand children total. I was well aware of how tricky those first couple of months are and was determined that I would deal with them with the frame of mind of, it's just for a season and I can handle nearly anything for a season. Although I knew this to be true, I still was feeling completely inadequate, overwhelmed, and clueless.

This whole weeks time was spent spinning my wheels in reverse, Mary rejected to be laid down. The initial day I chalked it up to be an off day, then it occurred the very next day, and the subsequent day. She wouldn't even let me lie her down if she was resting, no siree, the infant would wake straight up and demand her mother. What can I say, baby loves her some mama.

Mama loves her some baby as well, but there's this one little issue: one of me, three of them. Mama needed her arms, however Nathan and Lucy needed mama's arms even more it seemed. I had a house to run, food to make, bubbles to blow, books to read through, clothes to wash, dishes to put away and reload, scattered toys and games to gather and baths to give out, the list continues.

Dealing with a child who refuses to be put down, I was spread thin. I was left no choice by Friday apart from to put Mary in her bassinet, close the bedroom door, and go commit ten to fifteen minutes reading to Nathan and Lucy. I could possibly have brought the little one however Lucy was begging me to, "put baby down please", I had to make a very difficult decision. I chose Nathan and Lucy in that moment, I had picked Mary all week, I let her cry while I read to Nathan and Lucy. Despite the fact that I put an enthusiastic tone behind each page, I was dying deep down. I could hear the muffled cry from my infant just two doors down, when I went to rescue her, she was out cold.

I sat in my glider rocker and sobbed, I let it all out, it was my first cry after having the baby. I hated the guilt I was struggling with, I felt like all I had carried out all week was "shush" Nathan and Lucy while motioning them to leave the room getting Mary to go to sleep. I gravely wanted to be with my more aged two, I desired Lucy to know that she remained so incredibly important to me.

As soon as the husband got home from work one day, I said to him, "hold Mary, I'm going to go play with Lucy while she takes a bath." I put the lid to the potty down and had a seat, we started putting Mr. potato heads together and I was making her so thrilled! The bathroom door was closed and I had a smart idea, I said, "want mommy to get in?", and she didn't even think twice, "yay!!", she shouts. I recognized that playing inside the tub would make it much more magnificent, and I was in need of some rich, quality time with my girl.

Nathan doesn't seem to be one bit troubled by all my efforts with Mary. If anything, he could be the ideal helper any new mama could have, he is amazing, he will gladly stay still and carry our baby while I get a few things done. I am extremely happy with him, and thankful for him, but he nevertheless wants my attention too.

God is so good to me!

Pause button please! Christy

Source: EzineArticles
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