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Making The Most Of Step Families

September 18, 2011 | Comments: 0 | Views: 92

You have met the love of your life. They are everything that you have ever wanted in a soul mate, and then you discover that they have a child. No big deal right? Wrong. It is a very big deal actually. Becoming a step parent is never an easy task even if it seems so at first. There are a lot of considerations before you even put yourself in the running toward step parenting.

First of all, the entire situation and all of its ups and downs, are not the child's fault. If you have any problem with the child what-so-ever, it is best to deal with it quickly or move on. Try to remember this above all things in the relationship. It would be a shame to try to separate a child and their parent, so if you don't feel like you would want to have the child around, it is best if you walk away from this one and look for someone that doesn't already have children. Seriously.

Secondly, The chances are incredibly good that you will have to spend at least some time with the child's other parent. This may not always, or ever, be a pleasant experience, as there are likely hard feelings between the two parents. In this situation it is really best if you state that you are not looking for any problems and that you feel that everyone should try to keep the children's best interests in mind. Be warned that it may not always go well though, some people will be difficult.

Third, never ever say anything bad about the child's parents in front of them or within their hearing range. This will only cause more problems and hurt for everyone involved, Also try to discourage this action from your significant other as well. It is important to note that slandering the other parent in front of the child can be considered a form child abuse, leading to legal issues, and can seriously hurt the child. That should not be your main reasons for not doing it, but it is something to consider.

Remember that, in most cases, you knew all of this beforehand, and agreed to it. Step parenting isn't for everyone, and in many cases it is the children that suffer the most from it. Hard feelings, misunderstandings and immaturity are some of the biggest reasons that step families fail.

If you are a step parent, try to make some kind of connection with your step child/children. This will not always be an easy process, and sometimes it will take a long time to build anything solid between you and them, but if you keep working at it and let them know that you are accessible, it should eventually work out.

One great tip for all step parents is to remember that you can make a huge difference in the lives of many people with your actions, try to make them all count in a positive way. Eventually you may have a wonderful new family that you never expected. You never get anywhere dealing out of bitterness and misery.

Source: EzineArticles
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