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Soul Master Handbook - Detachment Part 1

July 09, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 151

During the course of spiritual and personal empowerment, one of the principles that came up over and over that I struggled with was attachment. There were two main reasons I struggled with "living" within a principle of detachment, where detachment can be described as the ability to let go of just about everything I own, believe and think about. And those two reasons where the past and the future, or the basic unconscious tendency of human nature to attach ourselves to everything from the past and to the future in order to feel that we matter, that we are somebody. Why in the world would I think it would be a good idea to detach from those? Everybody needs to matter, right? Well in order to understand why detachment is a basic principle of total spiritual and personal empowerment and freedom, let me first share a couple of other words that are synonyms to attachment that may help: clinging, obsession, ownership, idealism, attraction, devotion, weakness, addiction, infatuation, hording, idolize, longing. Somehow these words seem worse than the word attachment, but nevertheless describe the condition we submit ourselves to in order to unnecessarily exalt our beingness in this big old world we live in.

Attachment is the condition of feeling that we "need" a person, place, thing, experience or whatever, in order to be who we are. It is extremely common in all of us because of the nature of our ego development from our time as an infant until now. As we begin to experience the world through our physical self, the things that we experience outside of the self begin to seem like they are affecting us, our life condition and even our feelings/emotions. But really what happens as we experience these things is that we process the information through our physiology and the brain and our ego (self determined identify) put a little place in our head that says - this is something that I do want because it makes me feel good, powerful, strong, etc. so therefore I need more of this. Our brain and ego tell us that without this thing, person, experience or emotion, you are not whole - you must have this in order to be whole. Or it may say something opposite, about what we don't want because it does not make us feel good or it may take something away from us. Jesuit priest and spiritual teacher Anthony DeMello says in his book, Awareness, "When we were young, we were programmed to unhappiness. They taught us that in order to be happy you need money, success, a beautiful or handsome partner in life, a good job, friendship, spirituality, God - you name it. Unless you get these things, you're not going to be happy. Now that is what I call attachment."

As someone on a path to spiritual and personal empowerment, it was easy to see the attachments I had developed related to those things that I "did not" like or that I had fears about. Clearly if I had a fear about something, I must have an attachment to the idea about that fear. My fear of being unloved for instance, which due to this attachment caused me at times to be controlling in my relationships or to project an overconfidence in my relationships that I did not truly feel. The work I did to detach myself from the "idea" that I could ever be unloved took a great deal of courage because in order to detach myself from the fear, I had to accept the possibility that I might have to let the "objects" of my love go in order to live from a place of total freedom of the fear. I realized that I cannot objectify my fear of being unloved by the love I feel that I am getting from others. When we view love from others in this way, through the lens of attachment to fear, then our relationships can never truly be real, lasting or fulfilling.

So I had to be willing to face the possibility that the relationships might go away in order to free myself from the fear and this was soooo difficult, because I didn't want that. I had to bolster myself with the promise of freedom and a true release from a conditioned fear that binds me to people and behaviors that continue to cause suffering. I had to remind myself that love is not something that can be negotiated with to myself or others. It just IS. It is not something that can be lost, it is always available.

I can't overemphasize how challenging this detachment was, and frankly I still work on this particular detachment as new challenges come up all the time to expand my sense of total divine love towards myself and others. But the point I was really trying to make regarding the difficulty in this particular detachment, is that once I crossed over the bridge of thinking that I could ever be separated from love and was willing to allow my loved ones go to experience their own sense of love, the easier it became to detach myself from the originating fear. Source: EzineArticles

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