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Parents of Special-Needs Children Having Regretful Thoughts

June 23, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 189

There is nothing more isolating than being a parent of a special-needs child.

It seems no one understands what you are going through... not even your own family members.

So how do you deal with these feelings of frustration, fears, anger and isolation?

Start by re-parenting yourself with love. One of the highest forms of love, is listening. Listen to your own thoughts.

Tune into what you are thinking. What are you telling yourself? Often our anxiety mounts as special needs parents, because we feel not only does no one else understand, but no one else really cares about our needs. However, listening to our challenges, can sometimes make others uneasy. Why? Because they don't know how to respond, and they don't know how to help. So, most people would rather not hear your difficulties.

We can't expect others to be sympathetic to our needs when many of us special needs' parents don't even know we have needs. Why? Because we are so busy tending to our children. However, when you just sit down in a quiet place, and tune into your thoughts, you will find some surprising dialogue going on in your head.

Some of the thoughts may be downright scary, and embarrassing. You may have thoughts like, "I wish I had never become a parent." "I just want a little time to myself." "Why can't I find someone to help me." "This is too hard." "I wish I could just walk out on it all."

Don't be alarmed. These types of feelings are normal. When you are caring for a child who has a disability, you may feel like you are suffocating, or trapped. And if your child will have the disability the rest of their lives, you may feel you will never have a life of your own. Despite deeply loving your child, those embarrassing thoughts may haunt you.

When you try to ignore them, or suppress them, anxiety mounts. You may find yourself lashing out at your other child who doesn't have a special need, or your spouse. This is because your thoughts and emotions are suppressed.

A lot of tensed feelings can be avoided by realizing how important it is to tune into your thoughts. First comes a disturbing thought, and then an emotion follows. Nevertheless, that fearful, angry emotion does not have to control you.

The answer is to live Mindfully. When you are mindful of that less than desirable thought, simply listen to it come and go like a cloud crossing the sky. Let those thoughts flow. Eventually, they will be replaced with more positive, hopeful thoughts.

Find time each day to just sit with the dialogue going on in your head for a few minutes. Allow thoughts to come, and allow them to go.

One important thing to remember is to not to judge or beat yourself up for having the thoughts. Just be an impartial observer. You'll find you will have more energy when those trapped thoughts are released.

Life caring for your special-needs child won't be such a burden. Instead, it will be wonderfully rewarding.

Janet Alston Jackson, Award-Winning Author, has a new book, "Spiritual Keys for Parents and Caretakers of Special Needs Children to Prevent Burnout," to be released in the Fall of 2012.

Source: EzineArticles
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Janet Alston Jackson


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