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Single Moms: Knowing When to Get Help With Relationships

January 01, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 159

The story is like a bad re-run. After she took him back more than five years ago, somehow I knew then that this wasn't going to be the end of the story. No, apparently he was nowhere near done with sewing his wild oats. Without knowing any of these celebrity relationships on a personal level, how is it so easy to predict their demise? Without being able to predict the gory details, so many domestic relationships seem to have an eerily familiar and unfortunate end.

So many women just don't seem to get the memo. Why is that it's never a surprise for people on the outside when flagrant escapades are made public. Were there issues or concerns buried in the closet? Were there intuitive warnings that were rationalized away? What I'd really like to know is if women often see these red flags and if so, why are they ignored?

It's almost impossible to believe that a guy goes from being a doting, faithful boyfriend to high-profile Pimp of the Year. I'm going out on a limb to say that it just does not happen. Even so, plenty of people convince themselves that their "Boo" has out of the blue become a "Boar". Somewhere along the line, there were some alarms that went off well before antics were paraded in front of the world for all to see.

I often wonder why so many women and men stay in relationships that obviously aren't working. Perhaps the bigger question is why do we tend to get into relationships that we know are doomed from the start? Now I realize that marriage is a legally binding "contract", if you will. And if people plan strategically from day one, that's a topic for another article. The many golden parachutes produced from not signing pre-nups tend to be as savvy as it gets. It's no wonder that many women sign up for the Don't-Get-Mad-Get-Everything Single Mom course. However, what about the kids that are caught up in these real-life chess matches?

This is why I struggle with the idea that many women strategize from day one. We've all seen it a thousand times. People use kids as pawns in their Monopoly games all the time. While guys do exercise these unsavory rights, too, women have the most power when deciding to procreate. Isn't it reasonable that mothers would make sure they have the best environments possible for their kids when bringing them into the world? To bring kids into a situation that is obviously doomed from the start is definitely not in the best interest of the kids.

Do guys routinely pull a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Do women often pull and play the perfect hand? Are many celebrity marriages simply just another PR stunt? The world may never know the truth. At any rate, none of these scenarios make for the type of relationship that most people long for. In order to be happy, we have all got to make some hard decisions and in some cases, just flat-out pull our heads out of the sand. To get us started on the right foot and in the right mindset, here are some common lame excuses to get in or stay in an unhealthy relationship or marriage.

1. I've already invested too much time to quit.

2. I'll fix him/her after we get married.

3. I don't want to be alone.

4. I've already put a deposit on the cake/church/honeymoon

5. I don't want to disappoint my family and friends.

6. All of my friends are married.

7. This is my last chance at happiness.

We all make idiotic decisions from time to time. It will happen. It's unavoidable. And feel free to indulge in a domestic relationship that is guaranteed to eventually strip you of any indication of love and joy. This is fine until you introduce kid into the mix. If you find yourself rationalizing a relationship that involves kids, using any of the excuses above, please stop, drop and roll. Or at least take a step back and consider when and why comfort, convenience, and a few dollars became more important than true love and happiness.

Understand that parenthood, and especially single motherhood, is a major sacrifice. This means that good parenting is a continuous learning process. If your relationship with your kids could use a boost, check out this article on Dani Johnson and how she overcame many obstacles to create a happy life. If you could use some tips on how to fix a relationship, take the free assessment at Raise Your Family All the best in your quest for love and happiness.

Source: EzineArticles
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Article Tags:

Grooming The Next Generation


Single Moms Dating


Domestic Relationships


Dani Johnson


Single Moms

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