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Why Do All Arguments Start And End This Way?

March 28, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 61

You might say that the 3 platforms that cause most arguments should be common sense to most of us. We are aware of it subconsciously but never put it into everyday practice. It is like reading a book full of theory but never practically experiencing it. Even when we know it, we still do not take the time to consider what is happening around us.

Once a person has identified the 3 platforms, there will be better control over how the conflict ends. When we mention arguments, we imagine a man and a woman fighting over who is right; however, we are talking about everyone you have ever encountered with a confrontation, and these platforms unite with them all.

The aftermath of an argument between people can be so destructive, it can leave unresolved issues on the table for years.It takes considerable character to tell someone in front of them of what you honestly feel. In so many cases, the easier way out is to avoid confronting that person but rather spend time at the "Water Cooler Gossip Group" talking about the person that they can't face. It is easier to seek approval from someone else that will not judge. In fact, they will agree because they do not have a choice and will want to avoid confrontation too.

Why is it so easy to do that rather than stepping outside the comfort zones and confront the other person?

There is a sense of belonging that we all crave. Someone to understand our point of view. This article is not about if you change people change because that is so far from the truth. People only change when you see them through a different lens and when you stop finding fault in them. When someone truly let go of that judgmental side, that is when everyone around becomes less of a threat.

The "argument drive" connects the 3 platforms in the following way:

Platform 1:Sensitivity triggers emotions

A person triggers the emotions when something controversial emerges. This can range from fighting over money, not getting things done when asked, over indulging, being irresponsible, religion, about sex and so on.

Platform 2: Offense turns into defence

You will almost instantly recognize the signs when it gets to this stage. It will either be reasons or excuses, that the person will use to justify their actions. This might go on for some time depending on how the other person perceives those reasons or excuses.

Platform 3: Seeking revenge through confessing the other person's sins

Now defending yourself is almost never enough to satisfy the meaning of justification. We have to make the other person feel just as tiny or worse than what they felt in the beginning.

Why do we do this?

1. To feel less guilty about our own issues and problems

2. It makes us feel better revealing that their sins are worse than ours

Although not all arguments are as straightforward as this example, the 3 platforms are the primary drive that causes a conflict or engagement to spiral down to remarkably complicated scenarios. Now that you are more aware of it, the question is how can you leverage that information when it happens in the heat of the moment?

Discover more in-depth ways on how to control the outcome of an argument, and also discover the 5 models of defective thinking that sabotage you from achieving success in your personal, financial, social and family life.

Source: EzineArticles
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