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Esteem Yourself

February 27, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 121

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this life are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can't find them, make them." ~ George Bernard Shaw

Do you base your self-worth on a situation or the surroundings you're living with, i.g., career, partner, achievements, society, bank account, or what you see in the mirror? Is your self-esteem an elevator of ups and downs? Does the value you put upon yourself feel like being in the front seat of a rollercoaster ride... full of fear and anxiety? Self-worth doesn't have to feel like you're on a wild rollercoaster ride! Taking the downs out of self-esteem isn't an easy task, but it's attainable.

Not many people would like to remain on a rollercoaster for the rest of their life. Mentally and physically it would be too draining! At some point, you want level ground to just enjoy a smooth ride. Sure, there may be bumps and turns along the way, but it's a better ride that's not filled with fear and regret. Have you ever heard someone about to get on a rollercoaster say, "I shouldn't be getting on this ride"! Regret, fear, and anxiety are main attributing factors in determining your own level of self-worth, as well.

Low self-esteem is an epidemic in our world today that is surely unjust. There are people who choose to remain stuck in what I like to call, "misery addiction." People who are addicted to feeling bad about their self, and have no self-esteem or self-worth, and place no value upon their life. Misery addicts are people who constantly complain about how bad they feel and continually say negative affirmations, whether it's out loud or in their own head. They're also sure to let everyone who's around them know how miserable they feel! The only people a misery addict likes to be around is another person who also has low self-esteem and will listen to their poor me drudgery. They feed off of each other's weaknesses and enjoy discussing how bad they feel or how bad others make them feel. Misery addicts will drive anyone who does have self-worth away just so they can say, "See, I am worthless! Nobody wants to be around me!"

Negative affirmations are incredibly damaging to one's psyche and must stop immediately, especially if you want to increase your self-worth! Why do you think alcoholics like to hang out with other alcoholics?! Because no one who is sober wants to be around all their nonsense. A person who does have self-worth isn't going to want to be around anyone who does not value themselves, because they just bring you down, especially when you don't see them trying to make positive changes in their life. Like any person who is addicted to something, until you can admit that you are powerless over your circumstance and that your life has become unmanageable... you'll be sure to continue down the same path of misery and self-loathing.

Admitting there may be a problem with low self-esteem is the first step to growth. Don't allow yourself to feel shameful to admit or acknowledge that you may have some issues to work on. Whether big or small, we all have areas in our life that need some improvement and many of us have dealt with our own self-esteem issues. Growth is about development and moving past the issues that are holding you back to further expansion. You can do anything you set your mind to as long as you are willing to do the work to get where you want to be in your life. You may know you have some issues, but you're afraid to address them and look deeper into why you may feel the way you do.

We don't deserve to feel less about ourselves... no one does. Not the homeless person, not the teenager growing into adulthood, not the one who struggles with their appearance, nor the person in a dysfunctional relationship. It's important to realize that we are all here for a reason, to not only better ourselves, but to be better in the lives of others around us. Believing that we are worthy is the best gift we can ever give to ourself or another person. People gravitate to confident and esteemed people, they look up to them as mentors and want to know what it's like to have that kind of value upon one self. No one is going to give you self-esteem, you can't buy it, and it's not handed to you on a silver platter... self-worth is earned and is hard work. Raising the bar on self-esteem and valuing yourself can be taken to another level... a higher level. Obtaining self-esteem requires making a conscious effort to improve oneself. Someone can tell you over and over what a beautiful person you are, but if you don't believe it yourself, their words will not resonate. It always seems easier to work on others around us rather than working on ourselves. But, the only person you can manage is yourself- and in all likelihood it should be easier.

After acknowledging you may have issues to work on, the next step is learning to trust that a power greater than yourself can aid in restoring your self-esteem. Turn your regrets, fears, and anxiety over to your higher power. Give it all to Him. Don't you wish sometimes that we had a delete button on the side of our heads? I do! There's a lot of things I would love to delete and send to the trash that are of no benefit to me whatsoever! So sometimes it takes actually visualizing yourself doing exactly that... hitting the delete button on all the negative garbage. It serves absolutely no purpose other than to make you feel bad about yourself. So delete it! Sit down at your computer and type out all the things that make you feel bad and then send it to the trash. Make sure you empty out your recycle bin, too!! Fill the empty spots in your mind with positivity... things that do make you feel good about yourself!

Educate yourself and learn how to get past your feelings of low self-esteem and insecurity. Clean out the negative or depressing things around you. Think positive and surround yourself with positivity. And, if you have a relapse, or set back... then continue working on using the delete button, then get up and start again. Stop beating yourself up. Move forward!

I know you've heard the expression "small baby steps." So, if it means living day to day, hour to hour, or minute by minute to improve your thought patterns, then do it. Change your thought perceptions. It's always your choice. Don't you think you've suffered long enough? We all have something to offer somebody, especially to ourselves. Many of us have battled with low self-esteem and know all too well the devastating effect it can have on one's soul. It's up to you now to turn that scenario around. Stop beating a dead horse- because that's exactly what low self-esteem is... a dead-end street. If you don't start making an effort to change your outlook today, in five years you'll still be feeling as miserable as you feel today. That means you have to make it happen. And if it didn't happen in the past- make it happen today. There is hope.

Having good self-esteem is one area in life where the grass is greener on the other side. If you're lucky enough to not have had self-esteem issues- please share your story to help others in need. So many people are struggling, but know that there are many, many success stories out there. Please make yourself one of them. We are all here for a purpose. Get up and go out there and find that purpose. It won't be handed to you.

"We ask ourselves 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous.' Actually, who are you NOT to be?" ~ - Marianne Williamson

Deanne P. Wells is the owner and Editor of the South Texas Women's World Magazine, a life coach, speaker, and author. She has published several self-improvement and motivational articles on life empowering topics. She assists women in business and personal to provide insight, structure, and encouragement in reaching their full potential.

Contact her for a complimentary coaching session:

Visit virtually:

Source: EzineArticles
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Low Self Esteem


Rollercoaster Ride


Delete Button


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