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Do You Find It Easy to Say No to Other People?

February 23, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 124

Saying "No" to people can be a bit scary.

When asked to do something, most people would rather just say Yes for an easy life, rather than speaking the truth with a calm confident No. We often feel fearful that saying no will end up in further confrontation or explanation.

However, in doing this, you can end up feeling resentful, walked all over and violated - feelings which can be very difficult to live with. How do you feel when you let people walk all over you? Do you feel ashamed of yourself? Manipulated? Do you feel angry towards them? Well if so, it is time to feel good about learning to say No.

It will take a bit of courage and practice but in the end, people will get the message and you will start to feel more comfortable with it. As you learn to respect yourself and your emotions, people will soon learn to start treating you with more respect as well.

But how you break this people pleasing habit and learn to say No? We need to face facts that there are some people in the world who will make us feel uncomfortable, sad, upset or afraid. They could be:

1) The bullying boss 2) The friend who lets us down all the time 3) The ex partner 4) The scary family member

We often feel nervous around these people but often wish we could learn to stand up for ourselves and say what we really would like to say!

SO, we end up saying nothing and the pattern continues as people just keep on walking all over us.

The key is to find some courage and learn some assertiveness techniques. This doesn't mean screaming at someone else - it just means calmly stating your needs and perhaps creating a situation which gives you want you want without being aggressive.

Here is a few examples:

Your boss keeps asking you to stay late and do extra work for him. These things are not really in your job description.

Good response.

I actually have a lot on at the moment. Could you ask????????? to do this instead. I am struggling to get everything done in my day.

A friend of yours wants you to help her move house but you are really tired and need a weekend for relaxation.

Good Response

I would really like to help you, but I am sure you understand how busy I have been recently. Therefore, can you ask someone else? I really need to look after myself right now and feel very tired.

Set yourself a task this week to say NO - when you would normally say YES.

Lisa Phillips is an experienced Life Coach and NLP practitioner based in Sydney, Australia. Her work is fun and inspirational and will always make YOU feel good! She is also the author of the highly popular DIY Amazing Coaching Ebook which is packed with action steps and excuse busters to inspire you.

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Source: EzineArticles
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Feel Fearful


People Pleasing Habit


People Pleasing


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Learning To Say No



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