Author Box
Articles Categories
All Categories
Articles Resources

Decoding Rebound Relationships

April 10, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 205

We frequently hear people ask about rebound relationships. Yet, how do you really know if the new someone that you're dating is ready for a real relationship or just on the rebound? Is this person ready to handle the investment of your trust and emotions?

A general feeling of being off-balance, accompanied by feelings of sadness, anxiety, confusion, sleeplessness, and loss of appetite, can manifest after a breakup. A person's sense of self-worth, attractiveness, and desirability can all be called into question. All of these could leave the person who is fresh from break up feeling emotionally vulnerable and needy. Loneliness and the need for affection and personal gratification often become a rebounder's top relationship priorities.

To cope with the intense emotions, a rebounder could be tempted to move quickly into a relationship with someone who will nurture them and tell them only the things that they need to hear i.e. that they're loveable, attractive, desirable and worthwhile. This is the rebounders attempt to heal themselves (largely ego) and forget the pain of the breakup. Life then becomes a blissful spur-of-the-moment encounter with the present partner. And, the other person (reboundee) in the new "exciting" relationship may feel that they have finally found their soul mate.

On the surface things seem good, but inevitably one or both people in the relationship is likely to feel hurt. Days, week, and even months may pass and then eventually the glow will fade and the person doing the rebounding will begin to feel like their old self again. Once this happens he/she may see their new partner as merely a transitional friend who open heartedly helped them through a tough time. This is also when the rebounder starting seeking another "real" relationship. The other party is often left wounded and crushed. Unluckily, the fantasies of falling in love are more pronounced in rebound relationships.

What must one do then if a person fresh from break-up comes rushing into your arms? First thing, you must do is to see the person as they really are as of the moment: vulnerable and needy. Don't deny them their need for support, affection, and companionship, but also recognize that anything further is a huge risk for both of you. People on the rebound can't exactly recognize a legitimate need for affection and the real feeling of love. A reboundee might enjoy the high regard of rescuing someone from their pain, but be careful not to mistake the depth of the relationship. As the rebounder is nursed back their old self you might not be included in their new life. Be kind, compassionate and wise enough to give them what they really need, a true friend, not a lover.

If you are the one who is suddenly alone, there is a need to recognize your own needs for healing, reforming, and rebuilding yourself again. Consider your role in the rebound relationship, and your need to heal others. Know that being out of a relationship is not a bad thing. It opens up opportunity for you to grow in ways that you can't when you're in a relationship. It's also a wonderful "ME" time, where you can reconnect with your spiritual life and resolve resentments that you may feel toward your past partner. This is also a good time to widen your support system and create more balance in your life.

You'll survive this difficult emotional time. You'll live to see another day of laughter and love. Realize that every occasion unfolds in its time, and it's best to accept the situation and not artificially rush into your next relationship. Trying to fall in love fast doesn't make you any less needy.

Rebound relationships are by all means risky. As a matter of fact, 8 out of 10 people who remarry within a year after their divorce end up getting divorced again! So, it's best to take it slow, heal, feel your feelings, and learn from the lessons of your past decisions and choices. Through it you stand a much better chance of building a love that can last a lifetime, and you will have created a meaningful and fulfilling life you can live without regrets.

Source: EzineArticles
Was this Helpful ?

Rate this Article

Article Tags:

Rebound Relationships


Real Relationship


Next Relationship


Person Ready


Old Self


Person Doing

Teenage rebellion is easier to tolerate in book or film form. Take a look back at some of the most well known and loved "coming of age" stories set in boarding schools.

By: Harvey McEwan l Arts & Entertainment l July 10, 2012 lViews: 444

An important thing you have to consider before working out is having a pair of great training shoes. You cannot immediately undergo any physical training wearing inappropriate footwear. If you do so,

By: Steve Hill l Recreation & Sports l July 10, 2012 lViews: 348

Granite is one natural stone that is used for several purposes from dimension stone to countertops to sculptures. The use of granite for building the temples and monuments was initiated millions

By: Steve L Patterson l Arts & Entertainment l July 10, 2012 lViews: 297

Up to 65,000 H-1B visas for new employment may be issued each fiscal year (FY) for professional workers, including medical providers. In general, a person who already has an H-1B and applies for

By: Ann Badmus l Arts & Entertainment l July 10, 2012 lViews: 308

Beside coin shooting, gold detecting or the many other things you can do with your metal detector. There is a large group of people who take their metal detector out looking for old stuff. Not just

By: Candy L Lindsey l Recreation & Sports l July 07, 2012 lViews: 293

Many people want to be writers and you may be one of them. In order to make your dream occupation a reality, you need to have a plan. You also need to work on this plan constantly. These tips from a

By: Harriet Hodgson l Writing & Speaking l July 06, 2012 lViews: 438

Creating a great relationship or getting back a relationship is easy if you follow these simple guidelines. Think of it as a newborn baby. Tender care, nurture, communication, and attention can help

By: M. Tagsl Relationshipsl May 29, 2012 lViews: 187

If you find yourself in unsatisfying relationships over and over again, or without a partner, the reason might well be that you sabotage yourself without even knowing that you do. One way might be,

By: Doron Gil, Ph.D.l Relationshipsl April 20, 2012 lViews: 179

In any relationship, marital or otherwise, there are bound to be disagreements and bickering. In fact, infrequent debates can help to make it clearer where you and your partner stand on certain

By: Peter L Smithl Relationshipsl April 19, 2012 lViews: 160

How To Keep a Guy Interested And Things That Women Do To Scare Men Away. One of the keys to keeping a guy interested is to understand some of the things that women do to scare men away hence being

By: James O Kirkl Relationshipsl April 18, 2012 lViews: 159

Knowing how to be a better lover requires higher level skills which far too many individuals ignore. Rather than simply MORE sexual activity, for example, understanding why your partner is pleased by

By: Kenneth Dockinsl Relationshipsl April 18, 2012 lViews: 192

When you are in a relationship with a woman, it can be kind of hard to always know what to do to keep the conversation rolling on between you and her. There might be times when you really want to get

By: Chris G. Tylerl Relationshipsl April 18, 2012 lViews: 186

As in any relationship, you and your friends will eventually face several setbacks in your friendship. But, don't fret yet! Here are some ways of holding onto the friendship bond. Fighting friendship

By: Jessica Menozal Relationships > Friendshipl April 04, 2012 lViews: 159

Self-confidence is not limited to how we present ourselves in front of people. It encompasses how we view ourselves and perceive our world, the way we treat others, and even how we deal with crises

By: Jessica Menozal Self Improvement > Self Esteeml February 23, 2012 lViews: 123

Fear of commitment refers to the fear of forming long-lasting relationships. The term commitment phobia was first coined in 1987 by Steven Carter in his book, Men Who Can't Love. Commitment phobia is

By: Jessica Menozal Relationships > Commitmentl February 23, 2012 lViews: 428

Who says long distance relationships end in misery? It can actually work when both couples decide to make it work! Here are a few tips on how to making your long distance relationship work.

By: Jessica Menozal Relationships > Long Distancel February 19, 2012 lViews: 172

Discuss this Article

comments powered by Disqus