Author Box
Articles Categories
All Categories
Articles Resources

How to Get Him Back and Keep Him Step by Step

April 13, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 164


I know it's easier than it sounds and believe it or not is crucial if you're to have any chance at reviving your relationship. Not only does giving your ex space give you the much needed time to re-evaluate your own priorities but it also gives your ex the chance to actually miss you. After all, you can't miss what's always there. If you're constantly seeing them or calling them you're not giving them a chance to appreciate you.

This is a marathon, not a sprint race. You can't have the unrealistic expectation that you're going to patch things up within a set time frame. So don't try to force your relationship, let it unfold at its own pace and take things slowly, no need to rush into anything. Good things take time.

Instead use the time wisely to serve you. Use it to focus on you and to do the things you've always wanted. There's nothing more attractive than independence from your ex especially if you're not as cut up over the conclusion of the relationship as they thought you'd be.

So smile, laugh and be happy and show them you're ok. Independence and confidence are sexy. No matter what emotional turmoil you may be experiencing at the time, resist the temptation to call your ex 5 times a day or to purposely be in the same places that they are. Your absence will be noticed and will truly give them time to assess their life without you in it. The beauty of the relationship being over is that the pressure is off and that you can start over again without a time limit.


Don't place any unnecessary expectations on the situation, there is no set date that your relationship has to be on track by. In fact because your relationship ended you don't want it to go back to the way it was which was why it ended in the first place, so now is the perfect time for self reflection and to learn from your past mistakes.

Your ex will no doubt have told you some of things that may have contributed to the break up of the relationship and perhaps some of these things really could be because of you and not just said in the heat of the moment. That's not to say that you're 100% to blame either as more often than not the relationship breakdown was a two person effort.

Whatever your contribution in the breakdown of the relationship, let it make you stronger and let it be a time to break past habits and behaviors and replace them with positive ones.

For example if you have a QUICK temper, try to become familiar with your patterns of behavior. How do you feel prior to getting angry? Can you STOP this pattern before it escalates?Are you controlling, extremely jealous or have real anger problems? These are things you may want to seek professional help for as there could be underlying issues.

Your ex may not be completely innocent either but at this point the relationship as you know it is over and the only thing that you can do is to first work on yourself, especially if the breakup was initiated by your ex, the last thing they want to hear is that they have to change too. They're not in any position to hear that yet, even if it is true.

The best advice you can get is the only thing that you control in this world of uncertainty is yourself and that extends to how you react to things. Something to avoid that is easy to do and that can be a relationship destroyer is bringing up past issues. How can you move forward when you keep looking back to the past? Leave the past exactly where it belongs, in the past.

So even if your ex was in the wrong, don't bring up what they did, this is a quick way to keep your relationship in limbo. Nobody likes to hear what they did wrong and again, if your ex initiated the break up they're in no frame of mind to accept their part in the breakdown of the relationship, not at this point anyway

So be patient and determined. I know how difficult it can be when your relationship has just ended to resist the urge to demand answers. After all we're only human and when things go wrong we want to know where the fault lies so that we can fix it.

Not in this instance. This is one of the few situations where the rules go out the window and where demanding answers can actually go against you


There's nothing appealing in the eyes of your ex in being needy and clingy especially if they were the one to end the relationship. The best thing to do is to be aloof and play hard to get.

That doesn't mean that you should treat your ex badly by being nasty. By being aloof you're showing that not only did the break up not affect you the way they would have expected but that you're doing fine and thriving without them.

I know it can seem difficult to do, to fight the urge to have it out with your ex but the resistance to act on impulse will pay off in the long run. Here are a few tips to keep your ex on their toes and intrigued with you:

Don't be so quick to return your ex's phone calls. When the phone rings don't pick it up straight away, you don't want to give the impression you're waiting by the phone praying for it to ring.

Leave desperation out. In the human psyche we tend to place more value on the things that we can't have and less on the things that we readily can have. If your ex knows that you're waiting in the wings for them to snap their fingers, they'll never fully appreciate you. But to know that you're not always going to be there when they want you makes you all the more appealing and desirable.

Keep a little mystery, don't give everything away in one go. Don't let them know everything you do and they'll become more interested in you

Again, in terms of the human psyche, we always want what we can't have. So by making yourself just out of their reach will make you unattainable and all the more attractive and interesting.

The fascinating thing about human behavior is that your ex wants you to be independent and to think and make decisions for yourself.

Being clingy and needy can be a turn off and make your ex feel smothered. But at the same token, the moment that you change this behavior and become independent and show signs that you no longer need your ex to make decisions for you, they become interested and want to re-kindle the relationship again. The moment that they know you no longer need them is the moment they come running back, afraid to lose their power and influence over you.

This is a good thing, let them come running. Your relationship should be give and take as equals and not one sided. Even if they run back to you simply because you're not showing them the attention they crave, is not a solid foundation to base a relationship on. This constant game of ego cat and mouse is not healthy and the relationship in the eyes of your ex fulfils a more superficial purpose.

You want genuine love and to be loved and you deserve more than to be stuck in the relationship purgatory of childish mind games, who has time for that?


Just because your relationship may be over doesn't mean that your life has to be.

Use this time to try out a new look. Perhaps your ex may not have approved in the past but now you're free to make your own decisions and to experiment with different looks. Change your hair colour/style get extensions. Take a look at your wardrobe buy a couple of new items, easy to mix and match maybe a little not you usual attire.

BOOST your confidence levels and to really show your ex what they're missing out on. Hit the gym and begin a healthy eating plan. Make your ex do a double take the next time they see you but act as though it's no big deal to you. The last thing that you want them to think is that you did it for them.

This is about you and you only. Investing in yourself and giving your self esteem a much needed boost will not only make you feel better about yourself but will have the secondary benefit of winning over the attention of your ex. With everything we've discussed up until this point, you'll undoubtedly want to know if your efforts are paying off.

You know that your ex still has feelings for you or that your ex is developing new feelings for you if they:

* Aren't involved in any new relationships even if it's been months since the split

* Would rather spend time with you than to go on a date with someone else

* Rely heavily upon your comments when it comes to matters of a more serious nature

* Like to keep in contact with you and looks for opportunities to spend time with you

* Are concerned or even a little jealous if you talk about friends of the opposite sex

* Stare at you for more than a minute or two

* Laugh at your jokes and hang onto every word you say

* Acknowledge that they enjoy your company and being around you

* Find excuses just to talk to you or be near you

* Make physical contact with you whether it's brushing past you or touching you to make a point when they're talking

* Mirror your body language, this is usually a sure sign that they're interested and are completely invested in you

* Ask if you're seeing someone new

If your ex is exhibiting any of these behaviors toward you then you can be pretty certain they still hold a torch for you.

The main thing at this point once you've identified these non verbal cues is to continue to take it slow. DON'T jump the line and start talking about the relationship and where it went wrong and who really was at fault. At this point just enjoy the moment, keep it fun and light and give it more time. You'll be able to gauge in time when the right moment presents itself to have the "talk." But for now, just enjoy it for what it is and have fun.


FORGET the childish mind games. If you want a real shot at making the relationship work this time and you're serious about it, leave mind games out of the equation.

By mind games, respect your ex's feelings and no matter who was at fault and to blame for the breakdown of the relationship don't play mind games to get even with your ex. DON'T play with their feelings if you only want to reconcile to have some power and control over them. Only pursue the possibility of a second chance if you are truly genuine about starting over and want to make it work this time.

But if you're more interested in reconciling for the sake of proving something rather than wanting to make a new start, then perhaps you need to rethink why you want the relationship in the first place.

Here are some pointers to avoid

Get over your jealousy. If you have an issue with it, get help. If you're jealous when your ex talks about other people it shows that you still have strong feelings for them but because the relationship as you know it is over for the present time, you have no reason to get jealous. You're not currently in a relationship with them so you need to remove yourself from the picture until such time as you both mutually decide to reconcile.

DON'T lie, if you want to start over again and have a fighting chance then honesty should always be at the foundation of a strong relationship. Always be honest and upfront and never feel that you have to resort to deception tactics to win back your ex, doing so will only drive them further away.

DON'T confess how you feel straight away. When you get a good indication that your ex still has feelings for you and is showing interest then take the time to discuss feelings. Until then keep SSSHHH.

DON'T be too pushy, sure you want get the relationship back but by being pushy will only hinder rather than help your chances.



and then...that moment will come when you both need to talk be constructive don't drag up the past etc... Concentrate on positives - what you can do to improve the relationship instead of what didn't work beforeMake sure you have enough time and are both in the right frame of mind - like on the walk home from a romantic dinnerTake cues from your significant other about whether it's time to have the talk Avoid being too intense, but don't back down on things that are important to youDon't use this as an opportunity to bring up every pet peeve you've ever hadEnd on a positive note - tell them how happy you are that things are working out between you and that you want to be sure they continue to work out Once you have the talk and your significant other is receptive to the idea of working on the relationship, it is time to start over with a fresh outlook on the relationship. You may choose to seek counseling as a couple at this point depending on the issues that you are trying to work through. But keep in mind that couples counseling will only be beneficial if you are both committed to it. SAY I LOVE YOU EVERYDAY AND SHOW AFFECTION AND TAKE TIME OUT FOR EACHOTHER......GOOD LUCK please let me know how you got on you can find me at leave me an email Congratulations on getting him back - Sher

Source: EzineArticles
Was this Helpful ?

Rate this Article

Article Tags:

Mind Games


Win Back


Get An Ex Back




Marriage Advice


Love Lost


Want Him Back


Miss Him

When speaking of celebrity weddings, they dresses are mostly tailored and designed form reputed international designers. Say for example, Dutch Victoria’s Secret model Doutzen Kroes. When speaking

By: Simon Liva l Relationships > Wedding l December 12, 2012 lViews: 215

Funny groom speeches play an important role in making the wedding atmosphere nice and relaxed. Wedding is all about celebration and enjoyment and the best way of adding to the celebration is to make

By: Bartley de Wilson l Relationships > Wedding l November 29, 2012 lViews: 219

The wedding cards of every religion have something peculiar and convey a lot about the religion. There are various online stores that are solely designing Muslim wedding cards and there is an option

By: Indian Wedding Card l Relationships > Wedding l November 29, 2012 lViews: 388

Practice makes pretty! Make sure the dance floor is right for the song and practice plenty of time before hand.Practice makes pretty! Make sure the dance floor is right for the song and practice

By: Simon Liva l Relationships > Wedding l November 21, 2012 lViews: 281

Wedding invitations are very important as they are the first impression and unique wedding invitations are generally kept by the guests. The wedding is an auspicious occasion and all the rituals are

By: Indian Wedding Card l Relationships > Wedding l November 16, 2012 lViews: 445

A closer look into the popular series of books called Fifty Shades of Grey that has spurred women all over America to get in touch with the sensual side in life. It's about letting your daily

By: martha l Relationships > Sexuality l October 25, 2012 lViews: 307

One comment that Rob and I get constantly from our friends, acquaintances and even Jet Set Life fans that we don't know is "How do you guys, live, work and travel together and not kill each other?".

By: Kimberly Murgatroydl Relationships > Reconnectingl April 22, 2012 lViews: 133

Often time's people find themselves broken and hurt after a failed relationship. Relationships require a lot of work and effort on both parts and once you have invested so much of yourself and time

By: Jenny P Casidsidl Relationships > Reconnectingl April 18, 2012 lViews: 180

There are definitely actions that if you do them can push your ex boyfriend further away. Unfortunately after a breakup, a lot of people still in love with their ex boyfriend will do these wrongs

By: Lydia Stevensl Relationships > Reconnectingl April 18, 2012 lViews: 175

The relationship started off great and the two of you hit it off as soon as you laid eyes on each other. Then, temptation suck into the picture and it seemed to cloud your judgment and muddle up your

By: Abegail P Casidsidl Relationships > Reconnectingl April 18, 2012 lViews: 180

The information that I am about to reveal is to be used with caution. If you want to get your ex back than this psychological trigger is extremely powerful. With minimal delay this method has

By: Josh Tuttlel Relationships > Reconnectingl April 15, 2012 lViews: 161

A breaking relationship is never a pleasant experience for any one of us and can be really overwhelming. So if you are in that phase of life where the knot is about to break, then surely you may need

By: Mike R Tl Relationships > Reconnectingl April 15, 2012 lViews: 219

Discuss this Article

comments powered by Disqus