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Making the Mistake of a Rebound Relationship

April 15, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 249

My daughter made a big mistake a few years ago when she got her divorce. While her emotions were still fresh and raw, she started a relationship with another man. It's easy to see why she did it. He soothed her damaged feelings and made her feel self worth again. Eventually she even married him; however, it hasn't been a happy union. He has turned out to be ego-centric and abusive to her and her children. Her error was in grabbing onto the first guy who came along without waiting to really get to know him. She was insecure and unhappy, and she allowed him to play on these emotions. This is often a trap that those who have recently divorced fall into, but usually not successfully.

What these people aren't doing is giving themselves time to heal and get their lives back together again. They are in such a rush to feel happiness again that they are looking for it in the wrong place. Having a friend that you enjoy doing spending time with is one thing, but looking to that person to fill the central role in your existence for the rest of your life isn't usually the best option. You still aren't over your ex the way you should be, and trying to project your ideas of a perfect mate on the next person you meet can be a bit premature. Take your time finding the right person unless you want to go through the pain of divorce again.

A mistake that many people make is basing a relationship on initial appearances. "Wow, he's hot!" isn't the same as knowing him completely and loving the person that he really is inside. A true and lasting relationship is going to evolve over time by getting to know each other well enough that you know how well your two personalities really mesh. You can only truly know another person by finding out about their inner self. Outside looks will fade, but the inner being you settle on should be your soulmate before you even consider marriage.

If you have children, then you really need to think before taking up a rebound relationship. Too many children have been injured, or even killed, by a parent's new boy or girlfriend. The person you are having a relationship with has not developed any type of bond with your children. In fact, he or she may resent them because they take your time and attention. Besides, right after a divorce, your kids are dealing with their own set of emotions, and they aren't ready to accept a new daddy or mommy figure right away.

Find out how to know when your marriage is over at: or here: Save My Marriage.

Source: EzineArticles
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