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Naysayers - Are They Your Everybody?

February 22, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 107

I have a dream.

It's a quiet knowing.

It's a burning desire in my heart to be of service to women who deal with issues such as low self-esteem, approval-seeking, self-doubt, negative thought patterns, limiting beliefs, fear and lack of self-love.

There's a silent tugging in their heart telling them there's a better way, an easier way. There's a voice inside telling them there's a way to be happy in the now; there's a way to change their thoughts and create better feelings.

I've found that way, and I want to shout it from the rooftops. I want to contribute to the sense of worth, the success, and happiness of women who walk in the same shoes I walked in for way too long.

I believe every experience, every challenge, and every choice in my life has led me to this place. It's what makes my dream possible.

I've discovered my true path.

Being a Life Coach is my purpose.

It's my passion. It's why I'm here.

But wait.

They say it's impossible.

They say I can't do it.

They question me behind my back with comments like, "What makes her think she can be a life coach when her life has been so screwed up?"

They plant their seeds of skepticism and doubt, and the OMG thoughts run swiftly through my mind.

Oh my God, I can't do this!

Oh my God, I have wasted a whole year in training!

Oh my God, I've wasted thousands of dollars on life coaching schools!

Oh my God, what was I thinking?

Oh my God, who do I think I am?

In the blink of an eye, I have ALLOWED naysayers to convince me that my purpose in life, my true path, is just a dream I'll never achieve.

But wait.

Who are they?

They are friends.

They are family.

But they are not my 'everybody'.

What do they know?

They only know what's true for them. Not for me.

They only know their own insecurities, doubts and fear. Not mine.

They have infiltrated my mind with their judgments only because I allowed them to do so.

I can take my power back by remembering who I am.

I can own my purpose in life.

I can follow my true path.

I can live my passion.

I can achieve my dream.

They have posed a good question. They have given me an opportunity to face my fears head on and answer the question of, "What makes me think I can be a life coach when my life has been so screwed up?"

I will answer their question by saying to them, "I can be a life coach because I have received amazing training in HOW to be a life coach."

But wait. That's not all.

I will expand that answer by saying, "My life's challenges and experiences, hence my screwed up life, has given me many gifts like compassion and empathy, which makes me successful in partnering with and supporting women who wear the shoes I once wore. My screwed up life is the very thing that provides me with the ability to be a damn good life coach."

It's true.

When I worked with a life coach for weight issues, I didn't want to work with a Barbie Doll. I wanted to partner with someone who knew the feelings of despair and worthlessness that comes with being overweight.

When I worked with a life coach relating to relationship problems, I didn't want to work with someone who had been happily married to their high school sweetheart and experienced nothing but red roses and wine for twenty years. I wanted to partner with someone who knew the feelings of insecurities and hopelessness that comes along with being in a bad relationship.

When I worked with a life coach on money issues, I didn't want to work with someone with a million dollar bank account. I wanted to partner with someone who knew the frustrations and fear that comes along with financial difficulties.

There's nothing wrong with the challenges I've experienced in my life. I'm thankful for every single one. It's what made me who I am today. It's what brought me to discovering my life's purpose.

What do you do when you have a dream that everybody tells you is impossible?

Who are they?

Are they your everybody?

Probably not.

Martha Beck writes about The Empty Elevator, referring to it as a time when you know change is taking place in your life. People who once hung out with you and supported you in your old patterns of behaving and thinking begin disappearing from your life, or questioning the new you. They no longer approve of you. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. You may notice they no longer bring you the energy you desire to have surrounding you. If they are emptying from your elevator, it's okay. No worries. It makes room for your everybody, for those who will bring you the energy you desire. Surround yourself with these people.

I love what Barbara Stanny says, "My theory is that whenever we dare to do something different, some benevolent cosmic being sends a whole bunch of people to tell us what a dumb idea it is. These people actually perform a valuable service. They come to test our level of commitment. If you notice, the more tentative you feel, the more pessimistic they sound. If they succeed in discouraging you, be grateful. You didn't have the moxie to make it in the first place. This is good information to have. It means you need to go back and tune up your intention or let go of what's holding you back. On the other hand, if you're determined to succeed in spite of these killjoys, then you most certainly will."

Believe in yourself.

Trust your intuition.

Find your purpose.

You are the only one who is stopping you. They don't have the power to steal your dreams unless you give it to them.

Define your everybody.

Dare to Dream!

Vivian (Joy) Phillips is the Founder of Awaken Bliss Center for Inspired Living, author of the blog, BASKING IN BLISS, and contributing author to A Cup of Comfort for Parents of Children with Special Needs. Her deepest passion is to empower women in recognizing and expressing their inner beauty and light by teaching, motivating, and encouraging them to shift their energy to attract the desires and dreams they have hidden beneath doubts, fears, negative thought patterns and limiting beliefs. Joy enthusiastically guides women down an incredible path of self-discovery showing them how to tap into the potential that exists within.

Joy is a Licensed HAAPPi.Me® Coach, a professionally certified Metaphysical Practitioner, Wellness Coach, Spiritual Coach and Law of Attraction Coach-Trainer, as well as the creator and facilitator of teleclasses, seminars and workshops. As your Inspired Living Coach, Joy will support you and believe in you, as you journey into brighter days and new beginnings.

For more information on Joy's services and products, visit

Source: EzineArticles
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