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Discarding The Misconception That Big Boys Don't Cry!

April 26, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 189

Many young boys hear these kinds of words when they are growing up. A little boy is upset and the so-called comfort he gets is "Stop crying, big boys don't cry!" Now that is truly really tough for any child. All the child is really needing is a hug and reassurance and all they receive is criticism for their response. Think back on the comments you heard as a child. Perhaps comments like you're an idiot, you will never amount to anything, what will others think about you? Include your own comments to this checklist.

These types of comments would have affected you!

You could discard these remarks as being worthless, but were they? If you still have them in mind now they did affect how you grew up.

Growing up

While we grow up, people close to us show us the way to behave in society. They provide us guidance on how to survive. All these comments get filed into the subconscious mind as guidelines on how to behave in order to be loved. And many of those comments are truly of no assistance whatsoever! It's similar to being shown how to drive a car on the left-side of the street when you actually reside in a right-side driving country. You'll crash very quickly unless you correct your driving habits!

Into Adulthood

From your 'unconscious' these types of remarks have a direct influence on all that we do as adults. They become self-fulfilling prophecies. Derek shared with me how his dad regularly told him that he would never amount to anything. And what his father said came true. He could not hold down a job for any length of time and frequently experienced depression. If only he understood the baggage he had been carrying, his life might have had a very different outcome.

Do Big Boys Cry?

Men frequently are convinced that only women who cry, that depression is a woman's disorder. This idea is a direct result of small guys learning that big boys don't cry! Women think it is acceptable to cry whereas men don't. This really is so unfair, simply because essentially women and men are the same, with the exact same emotions as well as the same desires. Lots of men have discovered tremendous healing when they learnt to recognize their feelings as a part of them and learnt to let go and cry. Statistically, the same number of men and women have problems with depression. Even so, a lot fewer men seek treatment for depression and turn to medicating themselves.


This could be in the way of excessive drinking, making use of recreation drugs as well as flirting with the ladies. These will give an instantaneous lift but in the long run are really a very bad idea. Alcohol, despite an initial lift in the mood, drags you down to a record low. The problem is only fixed with another drink. Recreational drugs do take one out of reality for a while but the depression problem does not go away, and you're left with the possibility of addiction. And what about flirting with girls? Well not surprisingly one feels great with all the flattery. It falsely builds a failing self-esteem. But all these forms of self-medication basically take you far from correctly dealing with the problems that you are experiencing.

Face Reality

If you want to cry, just go ahead and cry. If you are not able to lift yourself out of your low mood, get medical advice. There are many types of anti-depressants available. There is most definitely one which will get you out of the pit. Go for counseling. Depression is an illness which affects women and men alike and can definitely be treated. There is no need to live out your life with unhappiness.

Do you wish to find out more about managing stress, learn how to get out of that downward spiral of unhelpful 'self-medication'? Make sure you head on over to for additional information.

Source: EzineArticles
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