Author Box
Articles Categories
All Categories
Articles Resources

Three Simple Steps To A Calm Mind in Troubled Teens

April 11, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 165

Quick! Don't think of a pink elephant in a tutu!

So. What are you thinking about?

We've had our minds all of our lives, you'd think we'd have a little more control of them, wouldn't you?

Now here's a more serious request.

When I say "now", try closing your eyes and emptying your mind of all thoughts for about 10 seconds......... Now!

How did you do? (You! In the back, I know you didn't even try!)

But for most of us, this is one of the most difficult things we could be asked to do.

To think of nothing. To take control of our minds and stop the constant mental chatter.

Why Bother? One of my favorite teen questions.

Imagine you could not see the stars or the sky and your only way to ever get a glimpse of them was through their reflection in the water. Now imagine that the water was constantly moving. Filled with waves making the water choppy. You couldn't see very much of the sky and what you could see wouldn't mean all that much (as to what was above you).

Now, think what would happen if you could stop those waves to the point that the waters became calm, still and revealed a perfect reflection of the sky. You would then see what had been hidden for all that time. One more allegory:

Plato's cave. Imagine every one you know being chained alongside you to a wall in a cave and that this was how it had been for your entire lives. You watch the shadows projected on the wall every day from a fire behind you that you cannot see. Eventually you all begin to see those shadows as the only meaningful way to understand the form of life. Then, bam! You break free! You get out of the cave (but cannot free the others) and you go out and see the true forms of reality instead of the shadows they cast on the walls.

That is where most of us are right now. Unable to see the stars, stuck in the cave, staring at shadows.

The only way to break free is... calming the mind.

So right now maybe you imagine that I'm in a lotus position, playing the sitar and wearing garlands of flowers around my neck. Nope. I'm at my computer writing all of this down and yet..... I am at another place at the same time; (while vacuuming is going on down the hall and my dog is barking at the local cat strolling across our fence), I am in a state of calmness, open to my intuition and inspiration.

Getting there simply requires some simple techniques and the patience to do a little bit of it each day.

When I teach these basics techniques to young adults to help them find the calm beyond their chaos, three things happen to them:

1) They become less reactionary to whatever the world throws at them.

2) They start to see beyond the moment they are living in and tend to get a bigger picture of their lives.

3) They are open to taking control of and owning their own lives.

No matter how much you are convinced that your mind is incapable of slowing down and incapable of eliminating that inner chatter, I promise you that I have seen people with zero attention, 100% energy and zero belief in this process take control of their conscious minds and begin a path to self-enlightenment that comes from quieting the mind.

Most of the people I meet in my role as a life coach truly believe that they are incapable of meditation. That it is close to impossible to "think of no thing" for more than a moment.

Within 10 minutes I have them extending that time; some for 30 seconds, some for a minute and some for 5 to 10 minutes, often for the first time in their lives.

For those in the first two groups, it is an affirmation that they can control their minds. For the latter group, it is a transformative experience and for all of them, it is the beginning of a practice. As you all know, a practice does not mean doing well every time you do something but doing it none-the-less, knowing that there will be good days and bad days, the cumulative effect of which is unbelievably empowering. What do you get? I'll tell you at the end of the article (no fair peeking... unless you're a duck... peeking duck mmmmm).

Step One - Breathing:

Breathing is a fundamental technique to learn to become in command of one's emotions and thoughts no matter what is happening "out there".

Lie on a clean, comfortable floor and put one hand on your chest and one hand on your stomach.

Try breathing in deeply, letting the stomach hand lift up without the chest hand lifting.

Now exhale and feel the stomach hand going down.

Take slow, deep and easy breaths and do this for about 30 seconds to a minute.

You are now breathing deeply.

In a seated or lying down position, take three deep breaths in and out and while continuing this deep breathing, take an inventory of how you are doing:

Check how you are feeling.

Check how your body is feeling. Notice any tensions, discomforts or pains.

Check your emotions. What emotions are strongest.

Simply take notice of them all, free of judgment.

Now imagine that you as are exhaling, you are letting go of anything you do not need.

Any tension, nervousness, fatigue, etc.

Feel these tensions flowing out with every exhaled breath.

Breath in relaxation and breath out your tensions.

Keep doing this for about 5 minutes.

Step Two - Visualization.

Start with the breathing exercise for about five minutes. As you begin to focus on your breath, I want you to start to imagine a special place. It could be some place you have visited or one that you imagined. It can be anywhere on Earth or anywhere in the universe. See this place. Decide what things you would like to have around you in this place. A lounge chair, a comfy sofa, an intergalactic floating person-holder, whatever you wish. Now, imagine what the place looks like, feels like, if you can, imagine the smells and the sounds. This becomes your special place. You can invite people you have always wanted to say your truth to, to come visit you in this imagined place, or just be alone and enjoy the feelings of safety, peacefulness and calm. Do this for about 5 to 10 minutes.

When you are finished, take a few deep breaths, wiggle your fingers and your toes and come back to the room you began in.

Step Three - Meditation.

Start with the breathing exercise again for a few minutes. (You can add the visualization exercise as well).

Now I want to focus all of your attention to the waves of breathing. Feel your stomach expand and then sink back down towards your spine as your breath flows in and out. When your mind drifts (and it will) let yourself know that it's ok for the mind to drift and then go back to focusing on the breath going in and out. Do this for about five to ten minutes a day.

So what do you get? The ability to rise above the emotions, sounds, smells and noises that bombard us every day and to be in charge of accepting peace into your own life, moment by moment.

There is a deeper gift that will come over time, your intuition will become a stronger inner voice and you will be lead to your "hero's journey".

What do the teens get?

The effects on the teens that have used these exercises on a daily basis were dramatic. They were able to let go of always being reactionary, they found the ability to reflect on a better path for themselves came much more easily and they could see their strengths and weaknesses clearly.

Have a mindful day!

What if you could transform how adults work with teens and young adults? What if there was a tried and true new way to bring out the best in young people not thriving. Join Ken's free newsletter and receive a weekly link to that week's article on the subject.

Source: EzineArticles
Was this Helpful ?

Rate this Article

Article Tags:

Troubled Teens




Teen Meditation


Teen Problems


Parenting Tips


Ken Rabow

Your body needs glucose in order to get energy for cell and tissue function. Without energy, the cells do not function properly and the immune system is compromised. When your blood glucose levels

By: Clifford H Woods l Health & Fitness > Diabetes l July 09, 2013 lViews: 2617

Heavy Metals - Free radicals (tissue damaging molecules that cause aging and bodily deterioration) are the result of the ever-present toxins within our environment. Heavy metals are contained in

By: Clifford H Woods l Health & Fitness > Supplements l July 09, 2013 lViews: 607

Braun shavers and trimmers are very standard brand and their new curser beard and head trimmer is big for trimming beards. This trimmer was specifically made to be able to trim down your beard and

By: Lovey Blackburn l Health & Fitness > Beauty l December 20, 2012 lViews: 459

On this website you will find latest makeup reviews and swatches from real people. You will know how makeup products look in real life, and you can also participate! Post your photos, tips and

By: l Health & Fitness > Beauty l December 09, 2012 lViews: 320

You can either seek referrals from friends and associates or search for consultants on the internet. The latter, in our opinion, would be a viable option for those pressed for time.You can either

By: Simon Liva l Health & Fitness > Diseases l December 07, 2012 lViews: 268

Healthy living is essential in today's world, to ensure one's well being. Learn how to relax and improve your mood now! Be it exercising, or indulging in one's passions and hobbies, be sure to set

By: Clarinda l Health & Fitness > Mind Body Spirit l December 02, 2012 lViews: 262

Meditation is under-utilised by the medical profession. This is especially true for cases of anxiety, stress and depression. But meditation not only improves mental health and stability, it also has

By: Michael Hadfieldl Health & Fitness > Meditationl July 08, 2012 lViews: 167

Peace being the goal of meditation, surrounding your intentions with peaceful thoughts reconciles you with your inner strength. Being spiteful towards those who have disappointed you would be

By: Dana M Shanklel Health & Fitness > Meditationl July 07, 2012 lViews: 194

Want to deepen your meditation? Practice these 5 very simple meditation tips to experience incredible meditations that lead you into deep states of bliss and self realization.

By: Kip Mazuyl Health & Fitness > Meditationl July 05, 2012 lViews: 151

Left foot lift, left foot move forward, left foot down...

By: Tameera S Kempl Health & Fitness > Meditationl July 05, 2012 lViews: 234

The Handheld Labyrinth is an innovative meditation tool. It has a number of uses ranging from stress management to helping children with ADHD. The handheld labyrinth is also used to teach individuals

By: Mak Smithl Health & Fitness > Meditationl July 04, 2012 lViews: 202

According to scientists the human mind is a miracle in itself. The thinking processes going on in the mind do not follow any boundaries. And that is why, the struggle of mankind to keep their mind

By: Kelvin A Smithl Health & Fitness > Meditationl July 03, 2012 lViews: 184

The greatest gift we can get for Father's day is the permission to be great dads. Here are some tips from observing many dads in many situations in ways we can all be great inspirations to the

By: Ken Rabowl Home & Family > Fatherhoodl June 12, 2012 lViews: 237

So many people live with a subtle, toxic level of depression turning each aspect of their daily lives into drab shades of grey. It becomes their way of being, making it difficult to excel at

By: Ken Rabowl Health & Fitness > Depressionl April 16, 2012 lViews: 177

From Romeo and Juliet, to Pyramus and Thisbe and beyond, teens have been teeing off parents in their romantic choices for thousands of years. If this has been going on that long, what chance do we

By: Ken Rabowl Relationships > Lovel April 16, 2012 lViews: 214

What do you do when you cross a panhandler in the street? Do you curse them? Look the other way? Do you miss a chance for a special encounter. Some are truly challenging but within their ranks lies a

By: Ken Rabowl Self Improvement > Inspirationall April 14, 2012 lViews: 221

There are so many great things that can be attained through gaming but there are some challenges to extreme video gaming play. This article will give you seven steps to get unglued so when you do

By: Ken Rabowl Gamingl April 14, 2012 lViews: 183

Why are we always championing people willing to tear everything down but not those who wish to bring something positive into this world. When I read that the "Person of the Year" was the protester...

By: Ken Rabowl News & Society > Internationall April 14, 2012 lViews: 114

Discuss this Article

comments powered by Disqus