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Why Do Men Pull Away When Things Start to Get Serious?

April 19, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 234

When it comes to dating and relationships, men and women can be so very different to one another. Many men (and it happens to women too!) get deeper into a relationship and then suddenly pull away. It's part of life and it happens a lot, but why do men pull away?

Many women have been in the situation where they think they have a wonderful relationship. Many have been waiting to have the question popped at any moment when suddenly, it's the elbow their being given and not a ring!

The problem is that women and men are hardwired in different ways. Women hold things dear that men may not and vice versa. These differences can mean men pull away and that causes hurt, anger and sadness. You feel unloved, unwanted and feeling very confused. Was it something you said? Was it something you did? You might never find out.

If you are looking for a man who will commit in body and mind you may need to go through a few relationships before you find 'the one'. It's all about re-tuning yourself to accept not all relationships are perfect, that your man might need a little space from time to time, and that sometimes he won't feel the same way you do.

Most women ask the following questions at some point:

• Why hasn't he called?

• Why isn't he talking to me?

• Why does he just disappear for days on end and then call me?

• Why aren't I number one in his life?

• What have I done?

• What can I do to make him want me more?

• Is it me? Has he found somebody else? Doesn't he find me attractive?

Most women in a relationship or who have had past relationships have struggled to get around these problems or even get answers to their questions. Sometimes, and to quote a film title 'he's just not that into you.' It's hard to admit when you really like somebody, but it's easier if you can admit this and accept the fact.

The fact is that a man withdrawing from a relationship doesn't have to cause pain and upset. Upset usually comes from a lack of understanding rather than anything else. If the man in your life suddenly said he had found somebody else or that you weren't the one for him, you'd still have questions, but you'd also have some kind of conclusion. Silent withdrawal and eventually leaving the relationship is when problems really start and when he questions really begin.

Many men withdraw from a relationship because...they want to be a man again! Let's go back a few thousand years. Relationships were a lot easier then. Men were men and weren't expected to be anything else. Now, men are expected to be friends, lovers, plumbers and breadwinners. And sometimes all of these roles can make a man feel like he's not himself. Many men panic in relationships because they have lost their identity. You can double those feelings when a woman tries to change a man's personality or traits.

Many men withdraw from a relationship because they are feeling trapped and pressured. The key is to recognise the start of these feelings and to do something. Let your man see his friends, let him have a weekend away, and let him watch the sport on a Saturday. They might not be your interests, but they are his. It seems simple, but it's these simple things that can cause a man to bail out!

You also need to understand that a man is not a woman. Sounds obvious right? But many women expect their partners to know what they are feeling, to know what to do when they are down, and to be there for them no matter what. Men are not perfect and neither are women. It's all about tolerance and realising that your relationship isn't straight from a Hollywood movie. Problems are there to be overcome and you might need to do that without constantly nagging or trying to change your partner.

It's all about adjusting your mental attitude and realising that what you want might not always be the same as what your partner wants. And of course there are the times when some men just can't handle any form of commitment no matter what you do. All situations are different, but essentially a good relationship is based on love, trust, understanding and to know when things aren't going right. Whilst you might not be able to stop your man from pulling away from your relationship, you might understand why he does it.

Penny Fairchild helps to provide real solutions for women who want answers to the question " Why Do Men Pull Away." Visit her website and forum at to connect with like-minded women worldwide.

Source: EzineArticles
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