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Save the Marriage - Even If Only YOU Want It

June 24, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 198

In "Save the Marriage, Even if Only YOU Want It", by Dr. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D, states that he believes that people find each other for very deep reasons. He feels the majority of people find the perfect person for them. Be aware that he says one finds the perfect person for them, not the perfect person. There is a huge difference in the use of those words.

Dr. Baucom has worked for 15 years, counseling couples whose marriages are falling apart or they have fallen apart. His extensive experience, plus his studies in the field of Psychology have given him incredible insight into the intricacies of people as individuals and as couples.

If you're reading this post, then most likely you either see trouble on the horizon or the trouble has already arrived in your marriage. In this "Save the Marriage, Even if Only YOU Want It" review, you will find that Dr. Baucom feels that couples are only a 'shift away from the perfect relationship.'

He goes on to say that this is the deep paradox of relationships. The potential for the best and the worst relationship is wrapped up in the same two people.

He further states that things in your marriage can change even if you are the only one doing the changing because marriage is a system not two individuals. If one is impacted it will have an impact on the other. He states that if you will make a change in how you interact then consequently, you will see change in the actions of your spouse.

You will be happy to know that this book is not an academic treatise but rather a conversation with you.

Save the Marriage

Scientific studies show that almost 50% of married couples who go for therapy end up in divorce court. Further, only 10 to 20% discover any significant help in the therapy. It is not the couples that are the problem it is the therapy. Dr. Baucom states that traditional therapy is built on a faulty central assumption and secondly it is founded on a single idea that almost guarantees divorce will occur.

Dr. Baucom explains why this is so. Traditional marriage counseling is usually based on communication therapy. This type of counseling assumes that if the couple communicates better, their problems will be solved or made manageable. This type of therapy is based on the assumption that the problem is misunderstanding and miscommunication. Dr. Baucom states that the real problem is misperception - how we view each other.

Secondly, therapy for couples is closely related to therapy for individuals. Dr. Baucom views this as a trap. He says that psychology has long pushed people to 'be more than they are to find enrichment and happiness - to self-actualize'. The problems with this is that this theory competes with the sought after goal of couple counseling. If one partner feels that she or he is not gaining all they want from life and the marriage is part of that, then the goals compete with each other. He then asks the question "Do you search for happiness by leaving the relationship or by honoring a commitment to the relationship and making that the best it can be, which may lead to personal happiness?"

In this post, Save the Marriage, Even if Only YOU Want it Review, we soon learn that lack of communication inhibits the ability to change because it is actually working on a symptom not the problem. In order to correct this, Dr. Baucom says that misperceptions held by the couple as individuals must be changed.

In Save the Marriage, Dr. Baucom goes on to relate how a marriage can be saved through the couple clearing up their misconceptions of each other. When one partner is angry, anger is not the problem. The problem is they have been hurt which results in anger.

This book is far to comprehensive to cover in a short review. I can only say that I wish I had access to this book before my wife and I were divorced. What a difference it could have made.

I usually find an item or two that is wrong in the products I review, but I can find nothing to object to in this ebook.

If you do see trouble on the horizon, or it is already occurring, this book will guide you as you traverse the stormy seas of your difficulties. This book has the potential to save many marriages. I recommend it unhesitatingly.

If trouble in your marriage is on the horizon, or you are already facing marital difficulties then I highly recommend you read this ebook "Save the Marriage - Even If Only YOU Want It. This book is written by a highly skilled and experienced psychologist who draws on 15 years of experience in working with couples. The book is not an academic treatise but a book in a conversational tone that is very easy to understand and easy to read.

If your marriage is in trouble, get this book. I recommend it unhesitatingly.

Source: EzineArticles
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Save The Marriage Even If Only You Want It

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