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To Love Them More

April 16, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 159

What do we do when our love, in all its copiousness, will not be received to the extent that we could give it? There is, of course, the opposite question. What if we cannot love enough? What if they desire more than we have to offer?

These are important questions in loving relationships, as the tension between loving more and loving less unifies and divides parties. Add to these complexities the recognition of the differing seasons of life; we love and are loved more or less depending on the circumstances of both parties' needs.

The original position suffices: what to do when we want to love them more.


Who determines what is enough love? The other party who's to be loved, of course. What might seem obvious is harder to work out in the living of life.

We pick up within the receiver their needs of love, and satisfying their needs is all that can be done. We need to work on accepting that. They are the ones that deem what and when enough is enough.

We might still struggle. We may have so much love to give and our energy seems wasted, and it frustrates us. We could find an outlet, and not necessarily one home to love; just an expenditure of effort and energy. It's beneficial to find a healthy outlet.


Sometimes people can be loved differently through our creative expression. It may surprise them in the pleasantest of ways. Then again, our extra efforts may further infuriate them. It can work both ways.

But if we're prepared to be creative, we're presumably prepared to exercise restraint and balance within the flow of love that the relationship can accept. There are times in our relationships with our grown children and with our parents and siblings where love ebbs and flows. Predicting these ebbs and flows and sensing when to love, and how to do it, is a desirable form of wisdom.


People will only receive the love they need. There are many explanations why their need may have barriers attached to it, or, in fact, why their need could be insatiable. It is unlikely that our dearest relationships are evenly poised in terms of love.

All we can do is accept what is. That of itself will take some work. We ought to be patient with ourselves as we learn to discern the right pace and dose of love.


Loving people right has finesse about it. They dictate their needs of our love. Our love is honed in discerning that need and meeting it, not more nor less.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP[Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: and

Source: EzineArticles
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