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Turn Off The Lies

April 15, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 188

I'm not talking here about turning of the people in your life that lie to you or the lies that they tell you either intentionally or just to avoid confrontation or conflict, but turning off listening to lies in your own mind. Let me explain.

Since birth each of us has been programmed with literally millions of words of influence from well meaning parents, teachers, religious leaders and even friends regarding who we are, who we will become, how we should behave, what we should think, how we should feel, what's right and what's wrong, what's good and what's bad and a myriad of other rules, shoulds and should not's. I call these - lies we were told. Now keep in mind in moist cases it wasn't these people's intention to lie to us. They were just passing along to us their beliefs, opinions, prejudices, knowledge and the result of lessons learned.

There are several problems with the information we have been given during our life and here are just a few of them.

As we have grown from early childhood into our adult years, I will choose to call them lies for the sake of this message; these lies have influenced every area of our life. They impact our behavior, decisions, self-acceptance, mindsets, beliefs, attitudes and even our goals and purpose as we move through our adult years. They have impacted our success or lack of it, our relationships, how we raised children, how we handle money etc.

At birth your mind was a clean slate. No opinions, prejudices, fears, ego needs and so on. But as your mind was relentlessly filled with information or lies about life, you began to accept these ideas or premises as truth. You see when you were 3 or 5 or even 10 you had limited life knowledge to confront the information that was fed to you so your mind's only option was to accept what you were hearing as true. Problem is - it wasn't. Things like;

You are not smart enough to... You are too small to... No one in our family has ever... You just don't understand... If you would only... Why can't you... Need I go on?

I don't know what you were fed maybe you were lucky and you heard things like;

There is nothing you can't do. There isn't anything wrong with dreaming big. If you believe it you can do it. You are really smart. You are so talented. Some day you are going to do something really big.

Regardless of what you heard, positive or negative, invalidating or validating, right or wrong or good or bad, it's all stored permanently in the billions of brain cells that fill your head and it's there forever just waiting to influence your next action, reaction, decision or attitude.

Here's the real problem with all of the many lies we have been told. They are just that - lies. Just because you are tall, short, black, white, good looking or ugly or any other human distinction you still have all that it takes to create a worthwhile, spectacular or incredible life no matter your current age or circumstances.

We are all blessed with potential. Those of us who cherish this work very hard to achieve our dreams in spite of the myths we were told about ourselves by others.

I recall when writing my first book many years ago my father telling me that I was wasting my time I had no writing talent since I had never written anything in my life. Years later when I was well into my speaking career he told me to give up on this silly dream and get a real job. Lies and more lies. No, just his opinions and prejudices that he was trying to pass on to me. Well, I refused and fought these words from him for years and decided to become successful in spite of his prejudices.

Why did he feel the need to tell me these things? Jealousy, insecurity or some other emotion? Well a few years before he passed away he admitted that he said what he did out of anger with himself that I was accomplishing what he had dreamed of doing.

Imagine a 12 year old or me in my 30's hearing these types of words - lies - and the impact that they could have on an entire life.

Millions of people every day hear these lies from well meaning and often not so well meaning people and the problem is - they stick and almost always determine the quality of that life.

How about you? What lies have you been told about you that are not true but that you have come to believe and accept?

Turn off the lies.

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 4000 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 70 books including; Soft Sell, That's Life, SOLD, 81 Challenges Managers Face and Your First Year In Sales. He can be reached at, 704-895-1230 or visit his websites at

Source: EzineArticles
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