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The Compass Always Points North

March 28, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 187

All my life I have had a bad sense of direction. The constant state of getting lost, and the fear of same kept me home from many events in my life. When I was younger I would go places if the directions were simple or I could go with someone. People who have a good sense of direction do not understand this. It is NOT that I can not follow directions if they are good, it is that when I pull into a parking lot, coming home I have no idea which way to turn. I spent a lot of time working on this to no avail. I had to memorize, OK, when I came here I turned left into the parking lot so that means I have to turn left to go home? right to go home? let me see, if I turned left into the parking lot that means I had to come from that direction, so that means I go that direction home. Oh, wait, I turned left because I passed it and had to turn around and come back to it, so that means that I should have turned right... oh I give up.

I also suffer from left right confusion, which is a real thing, I do not know my left from my right. I will be pointing with my right hand and say left at the same time. Stop laughing it is true. One time I was driving and a friend of mine was navigating. He said OK, you may want to get into the right lane cause you are going to turn right up here. I pulled into the left lane. He said, no, you want to get into the far right lane, I pulled into the far left lane. I said RIGHT LANE, I know I said I am in the right lane, as I hit the window with my left hand. Finally, I got into the Right lane and made the turn in time. It can be debilitating and scary. Not knowing where you are or how to get home. Cell phones helped me tremendously. I could call my father who had a homing device in his brain, or my older brother and I stopped at gas stations A LOT. Fear of getting lost kept me home for years.

One time when I was a Youth Director, I had given one of the kids a ride home and was on my way home. This particular gated community had one way in and one way out. I drove and drove and drove and kept running into dead ends. Finally, I saw a car, and thought I will follow them out. I followed this car all the way up into his driveway. I was desperate, I got out of my car, stopped this man and said, with tears in my eyes, please can you tell me how to get out of here! He did, and once I was on a main road found my way home. This situation caused me to leave way early for every event I attended. I had to account for getting lost time, turning around three times, stopping for directions twice and calling my father. I have spent more time waiting in my car for an event then I care to add up.

Along came GPS systems. These are a necessity for me. It is not a luxury, but an absolute necessity. It is imperative that I have a good one. I had one that quite honestly got me more lost than I would have been without it. I gave it to my daughter. I think she threw it out the window of her car. I felt bad about it, but I thought it must be me. I do not understand that as I thought they worked from a satellite, somehow I convinced the company it was defective and they replaced it.

The one I have now works, I always test them by going someplace I KNOW how to find. I tested this one going to church. I thought I was going to have to replace it, as it kept telling me to turn where there was no street and take exits that do not exist. I pulled into the parking lot of church thinking as soon as I can I am returning this. I picked up the unit and looked at the screen, the message on the screen said: 'END DEMO NOW?" Ha ha, I had hit route demo instead of whatever I was supposed to hit.

Sometimes life just seems to hand you something unexpectedly. I was asked to Emcee an event and the person who asked me said, oh, we can call you Emcee Hammer - well, I am naturally a funny person and have almost no inhibitions, so I decided to make the most of it, I pulled up MC Hammers dance and learned a little of it, I am fairly athletic so it was not hard to do the most basic steps. When the person introduced me as MC Hammer, I said, many people ask me if we are related - and I say, how can they ask we look so much alike, and for proof I did that simple MC Hammer step - the side to side dance - and everyone roared, how silly to see a middle age white woman dancing like MC Hammer. It seemed to be something I might be able to capitalize on, and so I am trying to do just that.

Source: EzineArticles
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