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Happy Much? (The Secret to Being Happier, Right Now)

February 26, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 130

Happy has been given short shrift. Have you noticed?

Most of us would agree, we'd like to be happy more often, but it's rarely at the top of anyone's list. (It's often not even in the top ten). Why is that?

Humans are teleological in nature, meaning we are goal-driven. It's in our neurology. On top of that, society teaches us that getting things done, accumulating money, friends and belongings, and checking cultural milestones like a diploma, a marriage or a trip to France off the "bucket list" are what life is all about.

As kids, we innately understood that happy was our natural state. We made choices based on what we wanted and what felt good inside - what made us happy. On the path to adulthood, though, that tends to get trained out of us by well-meaning parents, teachers, society in general. "You can't follow your heart. You have to be sensible."

As a "grown up," it seems kind of frivolous to claim mere happiness as your goal.

But think about it...Why do we strive for the trip to France, the soul mate, the 6-figure income?

I know why I do. It's because I think it (whatever "it" is) is going to make me happy in some way. Problem is, that's false logic. It's never the situation that gives rise to happiness. It's the thoughts, feelings and beliefs you bring to the situation that determine your experience of it.

I'm sure you can think of at least one example, big or small, in your own life where, once you got the thing you thought you wanted (a particular job, a new car, looking fabulous at your 15th reunion), it maybe felt good but it sure didn't bring the lasting enjoyment you imagined it would.

Since happy is why we are striving for that relationship, that 6-figure income, losing those 20 pounds, there's no reason to wait until we've accomplished the external event to be happier. The happy isn't in those things, it's in you (or not).

Happiness is not a result; it's a state of mind, a habit. Here's an exercise I share in my workshop, "The Happiness Clinic," to get you started practicing happy right now-

1. On a piece of paper, make three columns.

2. In the first column, make a list of things you want or need to make you happy.

3. In the second column, next to each item, identify what that item will allow you to do, be or have that's even more important.

4. In the third column, allow your creativity to come up with at least one other way you can bring more of that (the do/be/have thing) into your life right now.

Let me give you a quick example:

Column 1 - What I Want

Lose 20 pounds

Column 2 - Why I Want It

Feel more attractive, Know I look good to others

Column 3 - How Can I Get It Now?

Dress better (pay more attention to my hair and clothes)

Developing the habit of happy has a delightful pay off besides improving our current outlook on life. When we're happy, we become a magnet for good things to happen. When we're happy, we're open to getting the best out of life. We have more energy, we have more opportunities, we have better relationships!

Learn how to be happy NOW, and getting the rest of what you want is cake.

With a diverse background in education, Adlerian psychology, and Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Helen came out of the spiritual closet for good in 2009 and has been allowing her light to shine brighter and brighter ever since.

She is passionate about reminding people of Life's magic and their own power so they can bask in more happiness than they ever imagined.

Get your free copy of "The Happiness Manifesto" at

Source: EzineArticles
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