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How To Be Smart About Your Grandparents Rights

November 09, 2011 | Comments: 0 | Views: 134

The way we approach our Grandparents Rights will probably be even more important than the rights themselves. Depending on the circumstances the "sneak up on the grandparents rights approach" is, in my opinion, the best way to maximize our chances of being with our grandchildren. If you make being right your main objective the outcome may be far less effective, especially for the grandchildren. My best friend once ask me "How much do you want to pay to be right?", now that is a good question. Actually, when it comes to Grandparent rights I think it is an excellent question.

My past three years of research in preparation to write my book brought me to the realization that there is not and won't be a definitive answer to the all the questions that are raised when it comes to families in crisis.

Between what has been written in The Constitution, the Supreme Court decision (Troxel v.Granville, June, 2000), and the variations in state by state laws that try to address these issues, there is little hope that anything like clear and decisive law will emerge in the coming century. It will be progress just to get some clarifications that will actually help our grandchildren, but unfortunately, they will come slow and hard state by state.

It would be fair for you to ask why I say that. There was an attempt by a congressional committee to try to form a unified federal law having to do with Grandparents Rights. The issue had so many challenges that the committee dissolved with no solution. Having read the 10 feasibility questions facing the committee I have a better understanding of just how complicated all of this is. I want to be clear, just because it is complicated that does NOT mean we shouldn't try. We should and must keep fighting for Grandparents rights in every state in the land. What I am saying is that in the mean time there may be a better way to get the results we want.

This brings us to the Smart part of Grandparenting. I wish to approach this idea not with Do's and Don'ts but rather by posing questions we should ask ourselves each time we pick up the phone or walk in the door of the home of our grandchildren.

Who is the most important person in the triangle of Grandchild-Grandparent-Parent?

Is the past more important than the present?

To repeat; How much do you want to pay to be right?

What is your goal in this relationship? "The main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing".

Who's best interest is this all about?

What do you know about your Grandparents Rights?

Please, please consider each of these questions EVERY time you have interaction with your grandkids and their parent(s). You would be amazed at the misunderstandings that occur from an even well intentioned, mis-placed question or comment that given some sensitivity could have been posed differently or not at all.

My hope for each of you is Great-Grandparenting

I am a 67 year old proud grandpa that has taken up the mantle of making everything about "the well being of the grandchildren". I write a blog, as a way of communicating the power and influence that we can have with our grandkids, hopefully, in concert with their parents. This is not about taking away but about adding to the parents rights and responsibility to raise loving and lovable children. The objective is more love for all, especially the children.

There are some sad and tragic stories out there. So I challenge all of us to be part of the solution. With the divorce rate havering around 50% a divided family unit is a possibility, we need to learn how we can help rather than hinder this process should this happen in our family.

Source: EzineArticles
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