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Relationship Maintenance: 5 Ideas to Repair and Strengthen Your Relationship

February 27, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 391

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows that they are hard work. Contrary to fairy tales, people don't just live happily ever after. Like a building, relationships must be maintained. They must be repaired, built on and improved if they are to withstand the test of time.

The sad truth is that a lot of couples neglect the maintenance part of the relationship. This neglect has disastrous consequences, people take partners for granted, people don't feel special or loved, couples lose sight of the bigger picture, they drift apart which ultimately leads to the end of the relationship.

Even though it sounds like hard work, relationship maintenance doesn't have to be. All it takes is a little consistent effort. Small gestures, activities and rules that you do consistently, consistency is the key.

I've listed 5 of my personal favourite relationship maintenance ideas that I hope will help repair and strengthen your relationship.

Find a reason to fall in love with your partner every day.

We know why we initially fall in love with our partners, but as we grow and change, why are we still in love? You need to find new reasons every day. Look hard at your partner, their personal qualities, their habits, things they do find something that makes you fall in love with them and tell them, "I love you today because...." Not only will your appreciation and gratitude for your partner will grow, but they will also feel appreciated.

Ask your partner about their day and LISTEN.

After a busy day, people want to be able to vent their frustrations, share their victories and share the experiences they've encountered and like everyone else, hey want someone to listen. Not just wait for them to finish or for their turn to talk, listen. Ask your partner about their day and listen to whatever they say then, to prove you were listening, reflect how they are feeling. "That sounds like it was a hard day for you" or "Sounds like you enjoyed your day". Now that they told you about their day and you've listened, your partner will feel validated and worthy. In turn they ask about and listen to the aspects of your day.

Spend quality time with your partner.

Quality time spent with other is important. It helps to build relationships and allows people to grow closer. This is also when we learn about other people. Quality time doesn't mean sitting on the couch together staring zombie like at a TV. You must engage with each other. Go out for a date night, have a romantic dinner out, share an activity or a passion with each other. Don't have a lot of time, that's ok, we're after quality, not quantity. How about you give each and nice sensual massage or share a nice relaxing bath together, whatever will help you to engage, and please, have fun!

Write love notes.

Sure, love notes can be corny, however they work. A quick little note telling your partner that you love them and are thinking about them will make them feel loved and in turn love you even more in return. It can be a quick "Just wanted to say I love you" or if you're creative a small love poem will work wonders. You could try leaving notes in hidden places that will be a pleasant surprise when your partner finds them or for today's technological savvy couple, love text messages will also work.

Give your partner gifts as tokens of your love

Giving your partner a small gift as a token of your relationship will do wonders for you as a couple. Valentine's Day was built on this concept. A gift will help to put a value on the relationship which will make it more valuable to you and your partner. After investing so much time and effort into the relationship, think of the gift as a dividend or a payout. Make sure to not do this too regularly however, it should be a pleasant surprise, not an expectation.

There are of course many more ways to maintain your relationship, which ones you use is up to you. The keys to remember are be consistent. This must be an ongoing process not a one off. Also the aim is make your partner feel loved and valued, because if you don't, someone else will.

Rodney is a qualified counsellor. He is the Founder and Facilitator of Bloke Support, an organisation that is dedicated to providng support to men facing emotional difficulties and creating awareness of mens issues. He also volunteers as a crisis telephone counsellor for Lifeline and works as a support worker in the mental health industry. In his spare time, Rodney is compleating a Bachelor in counselling and is a filmmaker and award winning writer. He lives on the Northern Beaches in Sydney, Australia. For more information on Bloke Support, visit

Source: EzineArticles
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Relationship Maintenance


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