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Build Trust in a Relationship - 5 Ways to Make It Happen and Make It Last

March 21, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 151

We all know where a relationship goes without trust. Absolutely nowhere. So if you want a successful relationship, you want to do what it takes to build trust and maintain it. That makes perfect sense, right? Of course it does; yet many of the techniques used to keep relationships alive end up having an unexpected, negative effect on trust. To make sure you don't fall into these shady little traps, consider these six tips that help build trust in a relationship.

5 Ways to Build Trust

1- Reconsider spicing it up. The people closest to you likely have your best interest at heart, but that doesn't mean you should take their advice on spicing things up when you're having relationship problems. Sure, there are times when this is the best thing you can do; but that's usually not the case when you're having a hard time building trust. You may find that what works is the opposite-being predictable.

When you consider that a lack of trust is worsened by not knowing what to expect, this makes perfect sense too. It's much easier to trust someone when they're actions aren't too far from your expectations. Now, this doesn't mean you should become a robot who operates on strict program; just keep in mind that a little predictability goes a long way when overcoming a lack of trust.

2 - Mean what you say, say what you mean. Much like being predictable, it's important to be congruous when trying to gain more trust from your partner. Congruency simply means that what's in your heart matches what's coming out of your mouth. You may think that you can fool your mate by saying something slick, fascinating or loving in a way that seems believable; but there's a good chance that your body language will throw it all off if you're not being genuine. The other person may instinctively feel that you're not trustworthy, even if they can't explain why they feel that way. Instead of trying to control your body language, simply make sure that you mean what you say. Remember nobody likes a phony.

3 - Give it out to get it back. You may have wished at some point that your partner would trust you more. Well, guess what! Your ticket to getting the trust you want may lie in dishing out the trust your partner wants. Maybe you think you're the one more deserving of trust, but that's not the point. Trust is only at its best when it goes both ways, so by reaching out to your partner you show that you have the courage to take the lead.

Instead of trying to catch the one you love in a lie, try to catch him or her telling the truth. When you do, make sure to acknowledge it. Also, practice regularly assuming that your beloved is telling the truth. If they don't, you'll find out eventually; but it's better not to obsess over what may not be true. If you just have the courage to assume the best, you'll be surprised how much more smoothly things go in your relationship.

4 - Share openly. Although keeping secrets isn't the same as telling an outright lie, it is still a form of dishonesty and may make it hard to build trust in a relationship. Your significant other is the one person you should feel comfortable sharing your deepest secrets with, so be as open as possible. Do your best to share whatever is going on, keeping in mind how you might feel if your significant other withheld things from you. If you ever worry that being being open will cause a problem, consider that secrets have a way of surfacing anyway and the best person to deliver the truth is you.

5 - Nurture your relationship. If you've ever had a beautiful plant that you didn't take care of, you know what happens to a relationship when you don't give it the tender loving care that's required. It withers and eventually dies. A relationship must be tended to and nurtured, which means patience and dedication are in order.

You'll find that it's so much easier to build trust when your partner senses your high level of commitment to the relationship. Wondering how to do it? Spend time getting to know your partner on the deepest levels, acknowledge the positive things they do, share new experiences together, apologize when hurt feelings are involved, forgive quickly and put each other first.

The tips above are wonderful ways to build trust in a relationship, yet hidden, underlying issues may block you from having the healthy relationship of your dreams. In such cases, a Life Coach can help you get to the root of the problem and transform your life.

Nea is a Life Coach who specializes in Happiness, Life Transformation and Heartache Coaching. As the founder of and, she inspires personal growth, healthy relationships and self-confidence to change your life for the better.

Source: EzineArticles
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