Author Box
Articles Categories
All Categories
Articles Resources

How To Get Over Neediness In a Relationship

February 29, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 147

Most people can relate to being in a relationship and feeling very needy, some even think that they are nothing without a partner. In my opinion thinking you are nothing without a partner is based on believing you are not complete or whole on our own. The sad news is that more often than not neediness can be a relationship killer.

Getting beyond this neediness means having the desire to grow and become true to yourself. This involves getting to know who you truly are at a deeper level, in a sense connecting with yourself. With this your capacity to love becomes more unconditional. You no longer need, or indeed want, your partner to need you. You start seeing/feeling yourself as a more whole and complete person. One of the consequences of this is that you wish the same of, and for, your loved one. After all unconditional love, true love, love from the heart is all about loving the person for exactly who they are 'warts and all'.

Life transforms itself when neediness disappears. When you take responsibility for your life, start taking responsibility for your choices, and most importantly the consequences of those choices you start feeling this transformation. For example: If you chose to think you are nothing without your partner, a consequence of that is that you continue to behave and act as if you are nothing without him/her. You are giving your own personal power away.to him/her in this case.

Neediness is an emotion created by fear. This fear can create child-like behavior; being demanding and unreasonable, feeling insecure which results in jealousy, obsessiveness, anger, wanting to control etc. Personal growth/development is an important part of life. On this path you gain confidence, therefore success. When you manage to connect to the part of you that is strong, confident and consequently able to give...the entire nature of the relationship has a chance to change. It is then that real, unconditional love is possible.

If you find neediness is a large part of your relationship consider making some changes. These questions might be useful to ask yourself. It might be best to have paper and pen handy and makes some lists or notes to yourself.

What exactly do I think I cannot do without him/her?What exactly do I think I cannot be without him/her?How do I feel when I am in my partners company?If I felt better about myself what would be different? How would I feel?What would I change?Who could support me in making this change?How would I proceed to get started?What might hold me back from doing this?

This topic is multi-layered and is best approached with patience and motivation. The end result of moving beyond your fears and getting rid of the neediness will make you more loving, in turn your partner will become more loving as well. It will take time and dedication but will prove to be worth every minute you invest in yourself and every step taken.

Suzie Doscher is a Life Coach focusing on Personal Development. These articles are designed to give you support for you to master your steps towards behavioral, emotional and intellectual change. The articles aim to offer you tools to help cope with all the stress associated with today's lifestyle and work demands. May even just one line inspire you. Please also visit: http://suziedoscher.com, or http://coachgroupofch.ch

Source: EzineArticles
Was this Helpful ?

 
0
 
0
 
Rate this Article
 vote(s)
Feedback
Print
Re-Publish

Article Tags:

Behaviour

,

Choice

,

Change

,

Helpful Steps

,

Personal Power

,

Personal Development

Imagine a 10,000 piece jigsaw complete with a picture and then a tornado comes along and rips it apart, the pieces scattered and the picture lost. Imagine that jigsaw falling back to earth in some

By: Tim Holmes l Self Improvement > Empowerment l August 12, 2012 lViews: 335

Personal growth and understanding of self are no different. We fear that which we do not understand and it is a choice as to what we do with that feeling of fear. I now understand myself very well

By: Tim Holmes l Self Improvement > Personal Growth l August 12, 2012 lViews: 309

If you are going to write articles online, you are going to inadvertently increase your critical thinking skills. The reason is simple - because as you are preparing an article you are explaining to

By: Lance Winslow l Self Improvement > Mind Development l August 02, 2012 lViews: 302

Back when I was in high school and college I was a spectacular athlete, and I'm not afraid to say so now. At the time, it might not been inappropriate, as it would have shown an inflated ego, but I

By: Lance Winslow l Self Improvement > Mind Development l August 02, 2012 lViews: 496

Brainwave entrainment is a great resource for self-hypnosis and can be very effective in helping you to access the brainwave frequency that allows you to change your core programming by changing your

By: Wanina Petlock l Self Improvement > Mind Development l August 01, 2012 lViews: 248

Simply put, brainwave entrainment is a process that uses sound patterns to change your dominant brainwave to a specific brainwave frequency that produces a certain, desired effect. Entrainment can

By: Wanina Petlock l Self Improvement > Mind Development l August 01, 2012 lViews: 235

Imagine a 10,000 piece jigsaw complete with a picture and then a tornado comes along and rips it apart, the pieces scattered and the picture lost. Imagine that jigsaw falling back to earth in some

By: Tim Holmesl Self Improvement > Empowermentl August 12, 2012 lViews: 335

Reaching true potential is easier said than done. We've conditioned our brain and mind to trust outside of our self. Once I garnered the courage to color outside the boundaries of what I was informed

By: Valencia Ray, MDl Self Improvement > Empowermentl July 09, 2012 lViews: 200

When the term letting go is mentioned, it would be normal to think about physically letting go of something. Just like how one might open their hands and drop something. However, the letting go that

By: Oliver J R Cooperl Self Improvement > Empowermentl July 07, 2012 lViews: 212

Is it time to move on? Before you jump ship, take a close look at your own actions and behaviors and align them with where you want to be in your next job, career, or your own business. With a little

By: Max Kazenl Self Improvement > Empowermentl July 05, 2012 lViews: 161

You don't have to keep yourself in fear. You'll realize that fear and worry is not inherent to your True Self. Here you'll learn the illusion of fear and how to release yourself from the binds of

By: Greg Glanderl Self Improvement > Empowermentl July 04, 2012 lViews: 341

Where Do You Turn to Discover the Truth? Once each year in the United States of America we celebrate the decision to become independent as a nation state.

By: Nedda Wittelsl Self Improvement > Empowermentl July 04, 2012 lViews: 190

It can be so difficult to even consider asking for someone's help when you are used to handling everything on your own. Whatever the reasons behind this, we can all benefit from a little support

By: Suzie Doscherl Self Improvement > Stress Managementl April 17, 2012 lViews: 159