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If He's Abusive, Should You Stay? Or Is He Worth A Second Chance?

May 30, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 188

Are you involved in a relationship that could be called abusive and wondering if you should leave him? Have you thought about what you are going to do if he's abusive in the future and shows no sign of changing? Are you worried about what might happen if you leave, but more worried about what might happen if you stay? Leaving the man you love is never an easy decision but if he's abusive, it may be the right one.

You Deserve Honor, Not Abuse

The physical and mental abuse can wear you down after awhile and even make you wonder what you did to cause him to be abusive towards you. You are treading on dangerous ground once you start to think like that because there is never an acceptable reason for abuse. If he's abusive, it's about what's wrong with him, not what's wrong with you.

If he says he loves you and then turns around and backhands you when he gets mad, is that really love, by any stretch of the imagination?

You Know It's Not Right

Love is kindness and compassion, not cruelty and ridicule. It's about sticking with your partner when the going gets tough, not sticking it to them and blaming them for all the things that go wrong. It's about supporting the person you love, not knocking the tar out of them.

Deep down you know when it's right and when it's not right. Violence and abuse of any kind has no place in a loving relationship. Every couple goes through those times when nothing seems to go right. Eventually things usually turn around and the relationship gets back on track. But even in those situations where it doesn't and the couple decides to split up, violence and abuse is not part of the picture. It shouldn't be part of your picture either.

It's Not Easy To Give Up On Him

It's never easy to throw in the towel and get out. It's even harder when there is abuse involved. If you are being abused, fear and isolation are part of your every waking moment. Fear clouds your thinking and it can take most of your energy to try to avoid triggering his anger and staying on his good side. You are ashamed of what happened so you start avoiding other people which leads to you feeling even more alone. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to leave.

But if you are like most women in an abusive relationship, you don't really want to give him up because you still love him and you've seen both sides of him. You know that he can be a loving man, so you continue to hope that he will change and stop the abuse. But realistically, the chances of this happening are slim, especially if he won't admit to having a problem and agree to get help.

If It Happened Once, It Can Happen Again

If he hit you once, he may be shocked and upset that he did, but it could happen again. Let the first time be the only time and be prepared to leave him if it happens again, and tell him that's what you will do. But if he's become a chronic abuser, there is very little chance that he will stop. Staying with a man like this is downright dangerous, as the violence will continue to escalate.

So you need to stop and think carefully about what's going on in your life. If he's abusive, there is no better time than right now to leave.

Want to learn how to avoid these bad situations, and instead build a relationship with a man who will love you, respect you, and cherish you for the rest of his life? Then let's take the first step!

To read more about how to make a man love you, click Signs He Wants You. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man Fall in Love with you.

Kimberly White is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.

Source: EzineArticles
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