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Domestic Violence - Stop Being Abused

March 29, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 153

The statistics show the average battered woman returns to her abuser many times. Despite pouring millions of dollars into court-ordered batterers counseling programs every year, and funding for shelters and counseling for women, the epidemic grows and the courts and shelters are clogged with these cases.

There is so much misinformation out there about domestic violence. The latest research contradicts it, but has not made its way into the mainstream self-help language yet. A lot of it will keep you trapped in a victim role. This new information has helped thousands of women break out of the epigenetic cycle of domestic violence that has been handed down, generation after generation. Women all over the world are ready to evolve out of this now.

There is so much investment among the counseling community in the "old" way of approaching this problem, even though the numbers show that that approach just isn't working. It can be hard to go against the grain, but I know there are so many women out there that could use a different perspective than the same rhetoric that keeps them stuck.

The "victimology" mindset that pervades the topic, really leaves you with nowhere to go. Even though statistics show that women are often repeatedly the target of abuse, from multiple partners, it is treated as an accidental occurrence. Although the statement "It's not your fault," reassures the "victim," it leaves them with nowhere to go in terms of personal growth. If there is nothing you can do to prevent or stop victimization, because it's just a statistical accident, a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, meeting the wrong man (or men), well, that is so disempowering. The focus is then made on "safety plans" externally without a shift in awareness that would do more to prevent these occurrences than anything. If you even begin to get into this kind of stuff, you are accused by the current academia on the topic, of "victim-blaming." This is not about blame. It's about instituting programs and language that bring about real change for women. There ARE things you can do to stop being abused in all areas of life. And people who experience chronic abuse from romantic partners do have certain indicators in common. There is a science to abuse.

Abuse is found epigenetically, meaning it is learned behavior, in families. Providing shelter and safe haven from abuse is an important and necessary part of the process and I applaud battered women's shelters for the love and support they offer women in their time of need. Not offering an alternative mythology for women and addressing the mythology that is their current life story, sends them back out into the world often to return to their abuser or, attract another abusive relationship. There are common threads among abused women. And addressing that leads to real change. This is impossible to begin when it is considered sacrelige to even suggest that there are common threads among abused women.

Shelby Manning writes ebooks on topics relating to human potential. You can find her domestic violence ebook at

Source: EzineArticles
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