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5 Tips for Divorcing a Passive Aggressive Husband

April 13, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 448

There are a thousand ways that your passive aggressive husband will try to stop you from divorcing him, without actually asking you to stay.

He will:

  • Deny the gravity of the situation
  • Ridicule your search for a better life (where can you go, what's better than him?)
  • Make you look mad, stupid, cruel in front of family & friends
  • Procrastinate with any decision/making, action or steps to go ahead with any divorce plans.

You will have to divorce him, pay for the divorce yourself, and be grateful you escaped with your life!

So you've determined that divorcing your passive aggressive husband is the best thing for you and your life. This can be a positive life-change for many reasons.

You can recover your life purpose and do what you are supposed to be doing with your life; you can recover your health and live with less stress, anxiety and confusion; and you're more like to be living a mindful, happy life that extends your lifetime.

Now that you've made your decision, do you have your "field guide" ready?

Here, we're going to share with you the strategies for a passive aggressive divorce that every woman needs to know.

If you're wondering what to expect, look no further.

1. Be Careful Who You Tell About It

Be mindful of the fact that some people will not support your decision, and that can lead to "telling on you" to your husband before you are ready, or just a weakened resolve to divorce him.

You also don't know whether things will just accidentally slip out, so be careful who you inform about your decision. That being said, if you have someone you definitely trust, it can be extremely helpful and soothing to have someone who's got your back and supports your decision no matter what.

These decisions are up to you.

2. Have Everything Prepared To Leave At Once

Your divorce conversation may come at a moment's notice, and you may need to leave in a hurry. In order to be prepared for any occurrence, it's important that you have your essentials packed, moved to another location, or just ensure that you have transportation if you need it. You don't want to be stuck between a rock and a hard place when you need to leave, but don't have everything ready.

3. Have Your Network Prepared To Receive You:

You also need to have somewhere to go (if you're thinking that you have to leave instead of kicking him out). Chances are, he'll pull a child-like tantrum or cry, making it impossible to get him out of the house. It's always best to have a plan in mind for this, so that you can go to a safe zone where you trust the people and feel safe. It can be a friend's house, a family members, or just someplace you have picked out in another city or state. It's important that, if you need to, you have a place to go that he doesn't know about and won't come looking for you there.

4. Stay Detached:

The first days/weeks will be the hardest, as he will do his best to text, call, visit or anything else he can think of to get your attention and make you come back. Something as innocent as a text should be avoided, and this is something that may not seem like a big deal. However, he needs to be sent the message that he cannot get the upper hand in this relationship any more, and until he realizes this, it's best to stay away. This may sound odd after saying that you want to file divorce, but there needs to be a space of time wherein you gather yourself and your defenses for the road ahead.

5. Work On Repairing Yourself

The most important task after telling your husband that you want a divorce is to focus on yourself, not on him. Don't let yourself get drawn into reveries about how he's cooking for himself or whether the laundry is getting done. Your task is not "how to be kind to the husband you are divorcing." Those things aren't your concern anymore, because his behavior and life is not your responsibility. Definitely don't waste time wondering if you were too harsh, too hurtful, or whether you made him feel abandoned. The time is past for worrying about him; now it's time to worry about yourself and your needs.

Nora Femenia, Ph.D. is the author of the book Living with a Passive Aggressive Husband, a field guide for women that have to deal with passive aggression in their partners. Nora also post regularely to her blog Join our community today by sharing a free book "Breaking Free From The Silent Treatment"

Source: EzineArticles
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