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How Congruent Are You With Your Intention?

April 24, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 152

In a given day I facilitate a lot of conversations where I reflect back to those that I am coaching how they occur through their communication. Those in a leadership capacity think that they are clean with their intent on what they are communicating but often times HOW they are communicating gets lost in transit.

What do I mean by this? A leader may state they feel their intention was to communicate x, but if the communication landed in a way where y and z were received then the leader needs to own that their communication intent was not congruent with the delivery. This at times can be difficult for those in a leadership capacity to comprehend for they are often in a position of control. For them to own that their communication was not delivered in the way in which it was intended would be, for them, to be at cause.

To train a leader to own how they communicate can, at times, be difficult for those in a position of control are not often used to being self reflective. This statement may surprise you. But check it out. To be 'out of control' is not something a leader is used to. They are usually the ones that have to have the answers all the time. Those who follow them look up to them for guidance/direction.

I am an advocate, having been a self confessed control freak in the past, to partner leaders in owning how they communicate, such that their intention is congruent with their delivery. For this to happen they need to embrace, being 'out of control', novel concept. By 'out of control' I do not mean losing the plot, I mean being more self reflective devoid of defensiveness. As a leader you have a responsibility to be clean with how you communicate such that your communication lands each and every time with those that look to you for guidance/direction.

I often experience leaders being defensive, stating that their intention was clean, but if this was the case their communication would have landed in the way in which it was intended. For them to own that they play a part in how it lands takes ownership of how they communicate in any given moment. Being defensive as a leader does not garner growth. Being willing and open to feedback and being self reflective with people's opinions is as important in the trenches as it is at the leadership level.

So what do I suggest?

Ten Tips On How To Ensure Your Communication Intent Is Congruent With Your Communication Delivery:-

1. Always be the student

2. Be open to feedback, always, without being defensive of someone's contribution

3. Do not be dismissive of another's viewpoint, for this is where the gold lies

4. Focus more on what you do not know than what you do know and you will always be assured of expanding your consciousness daily

5. Allow yourself to be 'out of control', just because you are the leader does not mean you are not human. Experiencing insight beyond the constraints of the known realm is important as a leader

6. Interview your people and ask them whether your communication can improve. Now there's a novel concept!

7. Be willing to own the part you play in communication effectiveness. Just because you are the leader does not exclude you from a powerful learning experience

8. Go looking for opportunities to improve the way in which you are perceived by your people - they will love you for it

9. Vulnerability as a leader should be embraced. Allow your people to contribute to you, for this to happen they need to feel that you are approachable and open to their contribution - and that their contribution is valued!

10. It is the height of arrogance to not be willing to learn. Check in on your own arrogance barometer if you are thinking you are above all of this.

Sally Anderson is a Leadership Coach/Leadership Retreat Facilitator/Keynote Speaker/Author/Seminar Leader/Master Coach Trainer - and

Source: EzineArticles
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