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I Too Used To Be Homeless

February 22, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 234

When you take a look on the streets and see the homeless people, it doesn't really affect most people. People look at them sometimes with disgust. Never knowing what made them homeless. I know because I became one of those people. No, not the people that walks past the homeless. I was the homeless.

Such a harsh reality I had to grasp. My kids and I went from living in a five bedroom house to living in a one room shelter. We went from having three bathrooms to sharing a bathroom with numerous of people. We had privacy at home, but here their is none. I asked myself over and over how did this happen to us?

Being in an abusive relationship can take a toll on a person. What if your abuser is more then an abuser? Abusing is enough right. Not to my ex it wasn't. He took our lives to a level I didn't even know existed. He became a informant without my knowledge. Now after I find out of course it was to late. My family ended up being relocated.

No family to talk to. No friends to cry a shoulder on. My kids and I was somewhere that to us meant nothing but I tried to stick it out. Sticking it out became more of a job. My ex wanted all this attention that I had no energy to give. I explained to him how hurt and devastated I was to know that he would turn in a bestfriend of his for his own selfish reason. The law wasn't even after my ex. I also explained to him how he took the kids and me away from my grandmother who was very ill. He knew she was my heartstring but yet he still did this to our family.

As months went by the fighting got worse then what it was when we were home. I could't look at him in his eyes. I knew this was about to be the end of us. I guess he knew it too because he begin to have an affair. The nerves of him I remember thinking. We are down here because of his own selfish reasons and yet again he is being selfish. I told him no way am I going to keep accepting the dirt he does to me. He left and moved in with the other woman.

The other woman made it her business to call me and she constantly harassed me like he did. So now I had two idiots getting not only on my nerves, but the kids as well. He told the woman that I got raped and that was the reason we were in a different state. Now although that was a lie and considering she was a woman too, she still called my phone telling me that's what I get. She would call my kids phone and tell them I was stupid and that's why I got raped by five guys. Mind you that did happen to me in my life, but that has nothing to do with anything.

How could he tell a woman he only knew for a few months something so personal about me? Why as a woman would she say the harsh things she said about my rape? What hurt even more is again this had nothing to do with us being relocated. I became so furious with this man. Who was he? Why was he treating me of all people like this? So much anger became apart of me after that. I knew I had nothing else to give him from my heart, body, mind, and soul.

Things between them started to go sour. Their he was begging me to take him back. Begging me to fight for him. That I just couldn't do. He got upset and kicked in the door. When I called the police, they told me because his name is on the lease, I had no right to lock him out. I tried to explain everything to them but they didn't listen. They never gave me any advice. It was like I was the one doing wrong.

Due to the fact he would constantly kick in the door, or break a window, or fighting me, we got evicted from our apartment. I couldn't believe it. Where was my kids and I about to go? I was so scared being alone and now homeless in another state. Luckily somebody I worked with saw my stress and she lid me a hand. This lady allowed my kids and I to stay with her. I was so happy and things were going okay until I found out my grandmother passed.

I called the government to see if they could help my kids and I with tickets back home for my grandmothers funeral. I didn't get a response. I had $1000 to my name and with 4 kids and myself the tickets were $980. I didn't care about round tickets at the time. All I cared about was her funeral. I had a feeling she was going to die while I was in this so called witness protection program and she did. I felt like everything inside of me was now empty. She was the one who raised me. She was my back bone and now she was gone.

My kids and I made it the morning of her funeral. Looking at my grandmother in her casket I just kept apologizing to her for not being there. I also knew unlike my mother, my grandmother didn't want me with him. So I was proud to tell her I was no longer with him. I just hope she forgave me for leaving her while she was sick. I just hope she knew how much I really loved her. I was overwhelmed and still today I am with that sitiuation. I knew I shoul've been there with her holding her hand but I wasn't. I could never forgive myself for that.

I had no money to get back to where we were relocated at. My family especially my mother bagged me to stay. I never told them the truth about being in the witness protection progam. I told them I had a job traveling. I also had told them I wasn't with my ex before I went into the witness protection. I didn't want them to worry about the kids and me. I called the government and told them I could't go back. So the kids and I stayed.

For once I thought my family was their for me as I have always been for them. My ex called my mother to see if the kids and I were with her. Without my knowledge she told him yes and three days later he caught a flight to where we was at. I couldn't believe my mother. While I was visiting with my friend, my ex told my mother that I lied about the traveling job and that we was in the witness protection. Instead of her getting mad with him she got mad at me for telling her a lie. When I went back to my mother's house, the locks had been changed.

I called her to ask what was going on and all she could say is I lied to her. I couldn't believe this woman. While I was in the other state, every month I was sending my mother $800 to help her with food and bills so she could take care of my grandmother. Now she is putting the kids and me out. This is why her and I was never close. She always listened to the next person instead of listening to her daughter. I was so hurt and angry all at once. I felt myself about to explode. This is when we became homeless.

I had to take my kids to the police station so that we could go to a shelter. How did it get like this? Once we got to the shelter i called the government and explained that the kids and I were now in a shelter. I was told I would get help from them. I was told somebody would be giving me a call back to discuss housing. While I was waiting for a call from them months passed and I watched my kids go through the hurt tha twas put upon them. It changed them.

While being in the shelter I was thinking I didn't belong there. How could I go from having something to having nothing? I was homeless. My mother had turned her back on me and my ex was now laughing. Thinking it was funny that I had nobody. Not thinking that his kids was homeless. He just didn't care. His angle was to get back at me for not fighting for him with when he was with the other woman. I became his enemy after all he put us through.

It was five months before I ever got that call. My kids and I couldn't wait to get out that shelter. We couldn't wait to have a piece of mind and privacy. When we finally got a house I was told if I let my ex around I would lose it. They didn't even have to tell me that because it was going to be no way in the world he would ever get to step into our house. This was the kids and mines new beginning and I knew I could do well without him. I have been doing well for five years now without him.

So now when I see a homeless person I think of how my kids and I were homeless. I give a meal or a few dollars I have in my pockets. I don't just walk past them because I too used to be homeless.

Source: EzineArticles
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