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Successful Communication With Children

April 15, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 173

To teach someone else to do something, it is imperative to know what you are teaching. In other words, if I want to teach communication skills then I should practice what I pass along. It would serve me and others better if I have first hand experience with what I am talking about.

I raised three children and as we all know there is always some kind of disagreement going on with sibling rivalry from time to time. Well, this was the case with my own kids and as a parent, it was my job to teach them how to talk and listen to each other. I always felt that it would take them to better places in life if they had the skills of communication.

When one of my kids was having a problem with each other, I would call a 'family meeting' and everyone had to be there whether they were involved or not. I wanted them to always know that this family meeting was a group effort, that we all needed to be there. As expected, me being the adult, I was the mediator. It was my job to make sure that only one person talked at any given time. I also had to make sure that the person talking was able to express all that was on their mind unless it moved into another issue, which would need to be addressed later in the discussion.

The first thing I would do is establish who was having a problem with who. As you would expect, they would want to be talking at the same time. I would stop the disagreement at that time and pick one person to talk. I would line out the rules. I would tell them that one child is talking and that while that is happening everyone else had to listen. So, the chosen person would tell what was on their mind. If anyone tried to interject, I would remind them to let the other finish and they would have their turn. When that person was done, I would tell the other one it was their turn to talk. Again, we had to listen. As with all problems between two people, no matter what the age, they would each have their point of view. Sometimes they actually conincided with each other and other times, I would have to break down the issue. Remember that being objective is imperative at all times. There can be no favortism or biases based on one's own beliefs.

Secondly, when each issue is on the table, I would explain what each thought and felt to the other in a way they could understand. I wanted to help each child see what the other was feeling and saying. I would use examples to show them what each person saying. If they didn't get that, I would try another until it was understood. It is very important to understand what another is trying to say so you can move to the next level of communication. The point in doing this is to get to the point of resolution and finding a solution that fits everyone involved.

We all know that not everyone is going to be satisfied all the time. The point is to find a middle ground where they can be a certain amount of happiness for all involved. So, part of that process was to involve them in the problem solving process by asking for ideas to what could be done to make things better. Of course, kids are vaults of ideas and, as a general rule, they enjoy contributing to the cause.

The key is that everyone gets their chance at expressing theirself, they learn the art of listening, and they learn how to work as a group in solving problems. This has been a very effective means of communication that still works in my kids life and my life to this day. They are now 23, 25, and 28. It doesn't only work between us, it works with other people, too. It has done more than that, though. It created an environment where we all grew in life to be very close and has given us the ability to learn from each other.

The last thing I want to say is that it does take a little effort on behalf of the adult. It is also well worth the end results achieved, to say the least. I am sure this practice can be used in many areas of life when dealing with other people. The main thing is that everyone gets a chance to speak and be heard.

melody sullins

Source: EzineArticles
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Successful Communication


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