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Effective Communication - An Essential Part of All Quality Relationships

April 20, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 195

I often muse as to how simple life would be if we were all taught how to communicate effectively from a really young age. Babies and small children are particularly good at conveying their message to their carers, but this is quickly lost with the socialization process as we become influenced by things such as the opinions and attitudes of others, societal norms and our own desire to be liked by those around us. In my opinion a large proportion of the world's problems could be resolved if people just were a little more honest with what they said. What a wonderful stress free place that would be!

Truth in conversation and the ability to tell those close to us how we really feel is replaced by "white lies" and avoidance as we put the feelings of others before our own to protect them from what we believe will only hurt them. The question then becomes, what hurts them in the long term more? The fact that you avoided an uncomfortable conversation or the reality that you did not share your true feelings and emotion with somebody that you want to have a close relationship with? In my opinion you cannot be close to someone without them fully understanding why you think the way you do, why their behaviour aggravates you or why they hurt your feelings. This process brings people to a heightened level of intimacy that can only be truly experienced once you have given it a go.

The alternative can often create feelings of resentment that are often damaging to the relationship as the other person senses your unhappiness yet is clueless to understand how their actions have contributed. From my observations many relationships break down as a result of miscommunication or a lack of it.

The ability to share what you really feel is important and equally effective with partners, family members, friends and colleagues.

Of course there are occasions where it is better to hold onto your opinion but in the main this is more in relation to more frivolous things that are unimportant to the overall scheme of things or a judgement call on what is more appropriate at that particular time.

I am talking about being honest and delivering it in a way that leaves the recipient feeling respected and that you care about them. Ensuring they understand that your relationship is a priority and that is why you have a need to share your feelings with them, so that going forward you will both be better individuals as a result.

Communication style like anything else is a merely a habit that is developed from an early age and continued until we make a conscious decision to change. The first step is developing awareness and then seeking the knowledge and skills to do something about it. Imagine if it were part of the school curriculum? I have taught my three children from a very early age how to communicate on a deep level with each other and as a result what robust discussions are held in our home! Yet the relationships they have are so close and friendly. There is nothing they would consider off limits to talk about. There are many times in their lives that they rue the fact their friends can not have these discussions as well. The good news is that they have taught many of these skills to those they are in contact with - and the results are amazing! Just changing a few simple things can reduce stress and increase one's general state of happiness to an extraordinary level. I urge you to make effective communication a part of your life!

Genevieve Knight is the author of 'Effective Communication - The Simple Secrets to Changing Your Life Forever' She can be contacted via Genevieve also recommends for information to positively change your life.

Source: EzineArticles
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