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Looking For Ways To Get Him To Want To Marry You? Here's What I Think Are The Right And Wrong Ways

April 18, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 315

One common theme of the comments sent to my blog is how do you get a man to marry you. Many women who ask me this question tell me that they know that they are with the perfect man for them and that they know that he loves them. But, for whatever reason, he is reluctant or slow to marry. Many ask me if they should give ultimatums or put a stop to "getting the milk for free" as it's often called. In fact, many are tired of waiting patiently while time passes them by. So many ask me for ways that they can make him marry them.

I do believe that there are things that you can do to successfully nudge him toward marriage in a way that will make him enthusiastic. And I also know for certain that there are things that you can do that will potentially ruin your relationship or, even if you are successful, ensure that the marriage you thought was a victory will end up in defeat. So, in the following article, I will tell you what I think is the right and wrong way to get a man to marry you.

The Wrong Ways To Get Him To Marry You (Hint: They All Have Manipulation In Common) I know that this may not be what you want to hear. But sometimes, when I hear plans that women have to get a man down the aisle, I just cringe because I suspect that their plans will eventually backfire.

Some women tell me that they plan to fake a pregnancy or to get pregnant on purpose in order to force his hand. This is a very bad idea on so many levels. First, some men aren't as quick to marry as you might think. Plenty of parents are unmarried when the baby arrives. And second, even if he does agree to marriage, you will both know that, were it not for your "unplanned" and "surprise" pregnancy, that you would probably still be unmarried. Resentment is common in this situation and eventual divorce doesn't surprise anyone.

Another tactic that women will use is to try to make him jealous. They'll tell him that someone else is pursuing them or they'll start to hint that they might get tired of waiting for him and therefore, will pursue other men. Again, this is only eventually going to make him feel negatively toward you. He will know that you are trying to manipulate him and, deep down, he will resist you.

One final tactic that I will mention is that women will try to get his mother, a close friend, or a go between to talk him into the marriage. At least with this tactic you are not the one applying the pressure. But still, he is bound to know (or at least suspect) that you are behind it. And, again, you both know that someone is trying to force him to a time frame that wasn't his own.

What I Consider To Be The Right Ways To Encourage Him To Marry You (Hint: It Involves No Manipulation And Focuses On Strengthening Your Bond And His Need For You) If you were to ask happily engaged men what nudged them toward proposing, they will usually tell you with glowing eyes that they adore their fiancé and never want to be without her. They will tell you that she makes him want to be a better men and that she makes each day better than the next.

You typically won't hear him uttering phrases like "well she got pregnant, so I was kind of forced into it." Or "well, my mom really likes her and I don't want to disappoint anyone." And here's one more negative example: "I was afraid that she would eventually find someone else so I snatched her up." If a man does say these things, I'm going to bet that he doesn't fall under the category of happily engaged. He's more like forcefully engaged.

They key to falling into the "happily engaged" category is the fact that he wants be there. He willingly asked the woman he loves to marry him because he wanted to. Notice I said he wanted to. Not because his mom or you wanted him to.

The logical question becomes how do you make him want to marry you? You become the person that he can not live with out. Your goal is to come to know and understand him so well that you know what will lighten his load and lift him up. Since you love him and want the best for him, you listen, you support, and you brighten his life. Because he feels so good and happy when he is around you, then he never wants to be without you so he logically wants to commit the rest of his life to you.

If this sounds over simplistic, it's a little more complex than it sounds. Truly understanding someone takes effort and time. But it is certainly worth it. Because if you do your job and make him willingly want to marry you, then the work involved has already laid the foundation to a happy and lasting marriage.

And that is really the end goal, isn't it? Because what is the used of getting him to marry you if you don't stay married? Sure, women want the beautiful ring and the lovely wedding. But at the end of the day, what they really want is the soul mate. The wedding photos fade and the event is long forgotten. But having someone to share your life with you forever is priceless. So it makes sense to do it right. It doesn't make sense to try to force someone you love. Instead, be the partner that you want him to be for you and know that if you are successful, he will very willingly want to marry you.

If you continue to make sure that your relationship is a healthy and happy one, if you can make him believe that you aren't trying to limit him, and if you can convince him that having you in his life makes his life so good that he wouldn't ever want to be without you, then you will likely eventually get your commitment. They key is to make him want to very willingly commit and to make it seem like it was his idea. If you want tips and advice on how to Source: EzineArticles

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