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Is There Any Trick To Getting A Reluctant Man To Commit?

April 19, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 202

I sometimes hear from people who ask me to come up with "tricks," plans or strategies in order to get a man to commit. I always want to help people force a long term and committed relationship with they person that they love and are meant to be with. But, words like "trick" always make me hesitate because this implies a strong degree of manipulation and sometimes, even deceit. And frankly, taking this tactic is sometimes the worst thing that you can do. I'll explain why in the following article. I will also outline a way of thinking that has a much greater chance of success.

Ask Yourself Why You Feel That You Need To Trick Him Into Committing To You: I know that this may sound like an extra step which might be a pain. But, it's very important. Because determining why you feel the way that you do is going to help you to formulate the plan that is going to give you the highest degree of success. Do you think you need to trick him because you have some self doubt about yourself or the relationship? Do you think that he is commitment phobic? Are you just impatient and in a hurry to commit because of your own time frame? Or do you just know that he is the right man for you and therefore you don't want to wait anymore? It's important to try to answer these questions. Because you want to make sure that you are seeking a commitment for the right reasons and you want to make sure that at least some of this doesn't lie with your own self doubts. Because if this is the case, then you need to address some things within yourself before you attempt to address things within your relationship. Believe me when I say that trying to put your own issues onto your relationship will often harm that relationship.

Know That Men Loathe Feeling Tricked Or Manipulated And They Will Often Project That Same Frustration On To You: Women often want to believe that men won't realize that she is trying to formulate a plan to make him commit. But frankly, men are often better at recognizing this than many women think. And frankly, if he thinks that you are trying to trick or manipulate him, he will often become angry, frustrated or distant. Because to be quite blunt about it, you're not playing fair and he knows it. You probably wouldn't want for him to manipulate you. Think about it for a second. If you are trying to build a relationship that is strong and happy enough to inspire a commitment, thinking so little of your man who you want to trick him for your own gain actually runs completely counter to the real goal.

Men Who Are Tricked Into Commitment Often Eventually Regret It And Look For A Way Out: It's so important to remember why you want a commitment. You likely want to be committed to him because you love him and you want a long term, happy relationship. You want for him to willingly want to commit to you because he is so happy and so in love with you. But, a man who is tricked into this usually doesn't fall into that happy, deeply in love category, at least not for very long. In fact, many men who are lured into commitment, engagement or marriage this way eventually come to resent this quite a bit. As a result, they are often aren't happy in the relationship or the marriage and they become distant. Some even cheat or break off the relationship. I know that you don't want for this to happy. So make a vow to do this right instead of to do this quickly.

What I Believe Is A Better Strategy Than Trying To Trick Him: I'm just going to be honest with you. And I don't mean to sound insensitive but I am saying this because I believe that you need to understand it in order to successfully get that commitment that you want. Often, women who want to trick men into committing are often motivated to do so because they worry that they aren't good enough or that he doesn't love them enough. You need to move away from this line of thinking. Because you ARE good enough and he probably loves you more than you think. One major key to inspiring him to commit is having confidence in yourself and in your relationship.

So, if you are struggling with self doubt, vow to leave this type of thinking behind. You need to have confidence that it is you that he loves and that this is going to be enough. So, since we've established that you are good enough and that he likely loves you more than you think, what is the next steps toward getting him to commit. There are a couple of things. The first is to get to know him so well that you know what his wants and needs. Because at the end of the day, he needs to feel as if his life is much better off with you than without you so that he never wants to be without you. This is much easier to accomplish if you understand him through and through. The next thing to consider is that he must believe that you support and unconditionally love him. If you can make him feel better about himself and about his life, then he will want to always have you around.

A woman who can make a man feel like he's on top of the world and that he is special just the way he is understands this concept. Because if you trick him, then he comes to believe that there is something wrong with him, with you, or with the relationship. But, if approach this in the opposite way and believe that nothing is wrong and that you only want to deepen and improve your understand and your bond, then frankly the commitment part eventually takes care of itself.

Continue to make sure that your relationship is a healthy and happy one. Because if you can make him believe that you aren't trying to limit him, and if you can convince him that having you in his life makes his life so good that he wouldn't ever want to be without you, then you will likely eventually get your commitment. They key is to make him want to very willingly commit and to make it seem like it was his idea. If you want tips and advice on how to Source: EzineArticles

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