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If A Man Won't Commit, Does This Mean That He Doesn't Love You Enough?

April 24, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 453

I sometimes hear from women who worry that their man's unwillingness to commit to them at the present moment means that there is something wrong with them, that there is something wrong with the relationship, or that he doesn't love them as much as he should. And this can make them worry that their relationship is doomed.

I heard from a young woman who said: "I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. I want to get engaged. We're in our mid twenties and I feel as if it is time. My boyfriend says he does want to marry me one day, but not right now. We don't see other people and we are together all of the time. My mom said that if he really and truly loved me or if he loved me enough then he would want to marry me. She says that his reluctance to get married right now means that there's something wrong with the relationship or that his love for me is lacking. She says that when he meets the right woman for him, he will have no qualms about marrying her. Is she right? Am I wasting my time?"

This is a very common perception, but it is one that I believe is absolutely wrong. There are plenty of men who go on to marry after having some reservations and / or wanting to wait. Sure, there are some men who will use this as excuse when they aren't happy in the relationship or when they don't think that the girl is "marriage material." But, that certainly did not seem to be the case here. The man in this scenario seemed to be devoted to this woman and they were happy. There weren't any other warning signs that he was making bogus excuses.

Reasons Men Are Reluctant To Commit That Have Nothing To Do With Love: There are many valid reasons that man have for wanting to wait to commit. And most of these reasons have nothing to do with love. Some men want to make sure that they are settled in their career or education before they settle down. They don't want for their wife to have to struggle financially. And they know that stress due to money or living conditions is no way to start a marriage.

Sometimes, he may feel as if he is too young to commit. Or, there are times when he is getting pressure from his family and friends that it is too early to commit. He may also want to give the relationship a little more time to mature and grow stronger. Finally, sometimes a man will back off because he doesn't like feeling pressured. He may actually have thought about committing on his own, but when he starts to feel as if you are pushing for it, then that can cause concerns. And this can be true even if he loves you unconditionally and without any doubts whatsoever.

What's the Best Way To Handle This?: I believe that if he is telling you that he loves you and his actions are in line with this, then you should take him at his word until he gives you a reason not to. Perfectly good, happy and healthy relationships are threatened every day when doubt rears its ugly head. I know that this woman's mother felt like she was helping, but she wasn't. This couple was happy and was doing just fine. There was every reason to believe that he would eventually commit. And there is plenty that you can do in the meantime to gently encourage him to commit while often reassurance at the same time.

If you continue to make sure that your relationship is a healthy and happy one, if you can make him believe that you aren't trying to limit him, and if you can convince him that having you in his life makes his life so good that he wouldn't ever want to be without you, then you will likely eventually get your commitment. They key is to make him want to very willingly commit and to make it seem like it was his idea. If you want tips and advice on how to make him commit quite willingly, check out my free blog at Source: EzineArticles

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