Author Box
Articles Categories
All Categories
Articles Resources

He Doesn't Want A Serious, Committed Relationship Because He's Been Hurt Before

April 23, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 442

I sometimes hear from women who want nothing more than a commitment from the man they love but they are running into resistance and excuses.A common excuse that men will give if that they're been hurt before and are scared of getting hurt again.This can leave you unsure how to respond, other than to reassure him that you have no intention of hurting him.

I heard from a woman who said: "we've been dating for eight months.I love my boyfriend dearly.In fact, I would love to marry him.The other day, I asked him if we could talk about our future together and he cut me off right away.He put up his hand and said 'I'm not ready to commit to serious relationship because I got burned so badly before.I just don't want to get hurt again.'I tried to get more information out of him, but he shut me down and wouldn't talk about it anymore.Later, I asked his sister about this.She told me that a couple of years ago, he feel head over in heels in love with this girl and they became engaged.They were planning their wedding when he found out that she was cheating on him.His sister told me that he was devastated and not himself for some time.This is so unfair.Why do I have to pay for this other girl's mistakes?I would never cheat on my boyfriend but now he won't commit to me because she hurt him.What can I do about this?"I'll address these concerns in the following article.

His Being Hurt Before Doesn't Mean That He Will Never Commit To You:Understandably, this young woman was afraid that because of the behavior of the other woman, the man she loved was never going to commit to her.This just doesn't have to be the case.If it were, far fewer people would be married today.Most of us have had our hearts broken and shattered before we meet our spouse.In fact, many of us swear that we will never leave ourselves vulnerable for this sort of heartbreak again, and yet we eventually heal, meet the person we were supposed to be with, marry, and are quite happy.

Her boyfriend saying he didn't want to get hurt again wasn't the same as his saying he was never going to marry her or make a commitment.In essence, he was saying that he had reservations, but I feel that they are reservations that could likely be overcome.Yes, you have to be patient with him and loving while you are waiting.But often, when you do, you will be richly rewarded.

How To Deal With A Man That Has Commitment Issues For Fear Of Being Hurt Again:It's a very common inclination to want to immediately reassure him that you are different and that you would never hurt him.This isn't a bad idea as long as you do it in a loving and reassuring way instead of implying that this whole thing isn't fair to you.In fact, I would very much avoid discussing the injustice of this whole situation, although I completely understand your frustration.

You have to remember that your man didn't ask to be hurt by this other woman.In fact, he was acting in good faith and trying to marry the woman that he loved.He was acting very honorably and this was in no way his fault.So, you can understand why he was hurt and why he might be reluctant now.And, it is very important that you make this clear to him. Don't belittle his feelings, tell him that he should be over it by now, or may light of the situation.Instead, comfort him, tell him that you understand andare so sorry that this happened to him. And then reassure him that you would never act in that way and that you have no intention of every doing anything other than loving him and making him happy.

After that, continue on as you have.Because frankly, you have been making him happy.Things have been going well.Yes, he is unsure because of someone else's actions and this isn't entirely fair.But as I said, people do get over this type of pain all of the time and they move on.Yes, it sometimes takes a while.But often, all they need is an understanding person with whom they can have a successful relationship the next time. However, if you discount his understandable reservations and try to pressure him then he might eventually put you into the same category as the other woman.

Be very careful about your response and also approach him with a spirit of understanding and patience.Doing so will help him to get over his reservations.And, once he is able to do that, he will realize that there is no reason for him to be scared of your relationship because it is the one that is going to heal him.

If you continue to make sure that your relationship is a healthy and happy one, if you can make him believe that you aren't trying to limit him, and if you can convince him that having you in his life makes his life so good that he wouldn't ever want to be without you, then you will likely eventually get your commitment. They key is to make him want to very willingly commit and to make it seem like it was his idea. If you want tips and advice on how to make him commit quite willingly, check out my free blog at http://make-him-commit-with-a-ring.com/

Source: EzineArticles
Was this Helpful ?

 
0
 
0
 
Rate this Article
 vote(s)
Feedback
Print
Re-Publish

Article Tags:

He Doesn T Want A Serious Commitment Because He S Afraid Of Getting Hurt Again

,

Scared Get Hurt Love

When speaking of celebrity weddings, they dresses are mostly tailored and designed form reputed international designers. Say for example, Dutch Victoria’s Secret model Doutzen Kroes. When speaking

By: Simon Liva l Relationships > Wedding l December 12, 2012 lViews: 215

Funny groom speeches play an important role in making the wedding atmosphere nice and relaxed. Wedding is all about celebration and enjoyment and the best way of adding to the celebration is to make

By: Bartley de Wilson l Relationships > Wedding l November 29, 2012 lViews: 218

The wedding cards of every religion have something peculiar and convey a lot about the religion. There are various online stores that are solely designing Muslim wedding cards and there is an option

By: Indian Wedding Card l Relationships > Wedding l November 29, 2012 lViews: 388

Practice makes pretty! Make sure the dance floor is right for the song and practice plenty of time before hand.Practice makes pretty! Make sure the dance floor is right for the song and practice

By: Simon Liva l Relationships > Wedding l November 21, 2012 lViews: 281

Wedding invitations are very important as they are the first impression and unique wedding invitations are generally kept by the guests. The wedding is an auspicious occasion and all the rituals are

By: Indian Wedding Card l Relationships > Wedding l November 16, 2012 lViews: 445

A closer look into the popular series of books called Fifty Shades of Grey that has spurred women all over America to get in touch with the sensual side in life. It's about letting your daily

By: martha l Relationships > Sexuality l October 25, 2012 lViews: 307

A man's heart may seem like a complicated puzzle, little understood by many women -- unless they've been with their man for many years. Some women will only take advice from other women, but when it

By: Laurie Brennerl Relationships > Commitmentl April 26, 2012 lViews: 552

What you don't know about your man can keep him from proposing to you. Read more to find out what you can do to change this.

By: Laurie Brennerl Relationships > Commitmentl April 26, 2012 lViews: 291

Bees are attracted to flowers because of their colors and their fragrance. A bee's antennae is ultra-sensitive to fragrances at a microscopic level. It operates similarly to a man's "gut feelings."

By: Laurie Brennerl Relationships > Commitmentl April 26, 2012 lViews: 176

I heard from a woman who said: "I've been with my boyfriend for five years. I hate calling him that, my boyfriend. We're in our late twenties and that's too old to be calling someone your boyfriend.

By: Mari Deenel Relationships > Commitmentl April 25, 2012 lViews: 444

Tell me some secrets about men. You really want secrets? You do. Let me tell you some. Keep these secrets about men to yourself. Promise? Okay. Let's begin.

By: JD Sandersl Relationships > Commitmentl April 24, 2012 lViews: 236

I heard from a young woman who said: "I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. I want to get engaged. We're in our mid twenties and I feel as if it is time. My boyfriend says he does want

By: Mari Deenel Relationships > Commitmentl April 24, 2012 lViews: 453

I heard from a woman who said: "I've been with my boyfriend for five years. I hate calling him that, my boyfriend. We're in our late twenties and that's too old to be calling someone your boyfriend.

By: Mari Deenel Relationships > Commitmentl April 25, 2012 lViews: 444

I heard from a young woman who said: "I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. I want to get engaged. We're in our mid twenties and I feel as if it is time. My boyfriend says he does want

By: Mari Deenel Relationships > Commitmentl April 24, 2012 lViews: 453

I sometimes hear from people who ask me to come up with "tricks," plans or strategies in order to get a man to commit. I always want to help people force a long term and committed relationship with

By: Mari Deenel Relationships > Commitmentl April 19, 2012 lViews: 202

One common theme of the comments sent to my blog is how do you get a man to marry you. Many women who ask me this question tell me that they know that they are with the perfect man for them and that

By: Mari Deenel Relationships > Commitmentl April 18, 2012 lViews: 315

It's common for me to hear from women who have one primary goal in mind - to get the man who they have been dating (and love deeply) to finally commit to them with that prized trinket, the ring. Now,

By: Mari Deenel Relationships > Commitmentl April 17, 2012 lViews: 178

I heard from someone who said: "I am approaching 30 years old. I've had serious relationships but I've never been married or engaged. I am starting to feel like an old maid. I am starting to feel as

By: Mari Deenel Relationships > Commitmentl April 16, 2012 lViews: 233

Discuss this Article

comments powered by Disqus