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Use Your Parenting Problem For Your Business Learning - Failing Forward Friday

June 22, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 166

When you think of failure - of your own failure with parenting an independent child - how does your psyche react (depressed or embarrassed; dejected or sad)? Read on to see why you should get excited to use your parenting problem for your business learning. And, by the way, no, I'm not crazy.

The Child Who Gets It Right

If you are a parent of more than one child, you know that children are each very unique, even if they are identical twins. No matter how many children you have, each one has their own way of processing information. When you assign delegated chores, each child gets the tasks done in their own way. Some children are consistent and do the chore the way you taught them (or close to it). Then, it works well for them: they get the expected results. They were successful, and so was your parenting, with that child.

The Child Who Goes Their Own Way

However, with other more independent children, they do things differently from how you trained them to, and even from how they may have in the past, when they were first trained. This can be so frustrating and may even make you feel like a failure as a parent, depending on the situation. This child ends out their day upset about not getting the "right" results. You may ask them why they changed the pattern. They probably will shrug and say they don't know.

The Right Way = Your Way??

So, you re-train them and coach them to do it "the right way". They probably still try to experiment, and may keep failing. And, again, this may make you feel like even more of a failure. However, eventually, they will find what works. They will know what gets the needed results. So, even if they don't do it exactly the same way, you can't help but at least be partially pleased that they got better results, even if not exactly the same as when they did it your way. Right? (Also, you will just be happy that you don't have to do that chore anymore, especially if you're building your business.)

Over time, this independent child, the one who has experimented and found a way that works for them to get the needed results, will be pretty confidant about completing tasks and about living life. This is because they have had plenty of time to experiment by failure to finally know that they know for sure what works. They have, in essence, failed forward. This should make you excited as a parent. Yes, Excited About Failing Forward!

The Butterfly Principle

To illustrate why you should be excited about this parenting problem, hear another perspective:

My friend and colleague, Rhonda Nails, talked about the butterfly principle in the interview I did with her recently on The Understand Her Story Podcast. She shared the butterfly struggle story that her father told her and how it helped her to grow.

As moms, Rhonda and I both agree with her wise father that, like butterflies, children benefit from their struggle because it makes their wings stronger. Then, on strong wings, they can soar. However, when you help them too much and take away the struggle opportunity, it can disable them. Your help causes them to fall and fail because their wings didn't dry out and get strong enough to support them in flight. Allowing your children to experiment, even when it irritates you that they won't do things how you taught them, can make them independent successful folks later in life.

How To Apply This In Your Business

As a business person, use your understanding of this parenting truth to propel you forward. Know that just because you failed in your business, even ten times, does not mean you will never get it. It definitely means that, eventually, you will get it, as long as you do not give up and keep learning something new each time. Learn from your independent child's persistence. Keep at it and build your confidence over time.

Leave a comment: If you can relate to this, let me know. Share what you have learned from your own parenting. Share how you have used it to give you more wisdom in your business.


Donna Marie Johnson  is where you can learn more about Donna and join her newsletter community to view other articles in her Failing Forward Friday Series.

Donna Marie Johnson, Coach - Author *Your Social Networking Mentor and Online Business Coach *President and Co-Founder of WAHMs WIN *Founder of Your Sisters In Survival

Donna Marie Johnson is a Social Networking Mentor and Online Business Coach to women entrepreneurs who are building the online component of their businesses and struggling with the social marketing aspect of it. Learn more about her and her business ventures on her main website.

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