Author Box
Articles Categories
All Categories
Articles Resources

What To Do When You Are Angry

April 17, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 120

What is your response when something happens that triggers you and you feel like you are about to explode? Or someone says something that infuriates you?

Mean things may come to your mind and retaliation may be uppermost in your mind. What to do? You can simply vent at the moment but sometimes you can make a situation worse. What are some of the better ways to handle yourself when you are angry?

The other night, friends of mine (names have been changed) had a conflict. Joe did something that triggered Sarah and she was furious. She knew she would say things she'd later regret, and knew she needed to calm down. She got up, grabbed a book and went downstairs to her basement to exercise. With the time and space to think, she was able to sort through her thoughts and feelings and then decide more objectively what to do and how to address the situation.

7 Tips to Deal with your anger

Try one or more of these options and see what works for you.

  1. Walk away. This is not always possible but if possible, give yourself some space from the other person and situation. You can tell the person, "I'm upset right now. Let me calm down and then we can talk. If you can't walk away, at least pause and take several deep breaths and you can say the same thing.
  2. Calm down. Anger releases hormones and adrenalin that cause hearts to race and minds to spin. Take a walk. Go exercise. Exercise helps to get rid of negative energy. If you have a pillow or something safe you can punch, sometimes that helps. Do something else to get your mind off of it. Clean, listen to something, read a book, do a hobby. Watch something funny.
  3. Process your thoughts and feelings. If you can, talk to someone you trust who will listen and let you vent. This will help you clarify the issues and think more clearly. Sometimes the other person may even have some perspective that can help. Be careful not to talk to someone who advises you to do something harmful. Choose someone who can be more rationale and look at the situation more objectively.
  4. Vent. If you don't have someone to talk to, you can go somewhere alone and vent to yourself out loud. If it helps, you can punch a pillow while you do. Be careful though not to hurt yourself by banging your fists or head against a wall. Choose something soft.
  5. Write. Another way to process your feelings is to write. Sometimes it helps to write an angry letter to the person you are angry with but don't send it. This helps you to get all your thoughts and feelings out. If you do want to send a letter, let it set for a day or two and when you return to it, you will be able to be more objective. Then rewrite it following the principles of respect and good communication skills.
  6. Seek understanding. If you don't understand the other person or why you are so upset, ask God to help you understand yourself, the other person and the situation. Ask for wisdom. He will give it to you. It may not be immediate but it will come.
  7. Accept your limitations. Wisdom tells you that you don't have to change every person or situation. Pray for wisdom on what you need to let go of and what you need to address using the guidelines on how to talk and share feelings.

These tips will help you use your anger in constructive ways that will benefit yourself and others. When you have challenging communication situations, you may find these other posts helpful.

When you need to address an issue with someone, think about how to share your thoughts and feelings in healthy ways. When you want to listen more effectively, learn listening skills.

Don't put pressure on yourself to do it perfectly. Good communication, like any other skill is a learning process. Extend yourself some grace. Each time you read these tips, your knowledge and skill will expand. Communication skills are a wonderful resource so take advantage of it. Then you can enjoy the benefits of more peace in your relationships.

Please enjoy more relationship help and tips to support you in resolving conflict at When you subscribe you will be able to receive additional helpful relationship advice in your email. Sharon Gibson is known by those she teaches and coaches as someone who has wisdom to help work through relationship issues.

Source: EzineArticles
Was this Helpful ?

Rate this Article

Article Tags:

Communication Skills


Anger Management


Relationship Advice


Relationship Help


How To Deal With Anger

Imagine a 10,000 piece jigsaw complete with a picture and then a tornado comes along and rips it apart, the pieces scattered and the picture lost. Imagine that jigsaw falling back to earth in some

By: Tim Holmes l Self Improvement > Empowerment l August 12, 2012 lViews: 335

Personal growth and understanding of self are no different. We fear that which we do not understand and it is a choice as to what we do with that feeling of fear. I now understand myself very well

By: Tim Holmes l Self Improvement > Personal Growth l August 12, 2012 lViews: 310

If you are going to write articles online, you are going to inadvertently increase your critical thinking skills. The reason is simple - because as you are preparing an article you are explaining to

By: Lance Winslow l Self Improvement > Mind Development l August 02, 2012 lViews: 302

Back when I was in high school and college I was a spectacular athlete, and I'm not afraid to say so now. At the time, it might not been inappropriate, as it would have shown an inflated ego, but I

By: Lance Winslow l Self Improvement > Mind Development l August 02, 2012 lViews: 496

Brainwave entrainment is a great resource for self-hypnosis and can be very effective in helping you to access the brainwave frequency that allows you to change your core programming by changing your

By: Wanina Petlock l Self Improvement > Mind Development l August 01, 2012 lViews: 248

Simply put, brainwave entrainment is a process that uses sound patterns to change your dominant brainwave to a specific brainwave frequency that produces a certain, desired effect. Entrainment can

By: Wanina Petlock l Self Improvement > Mind Development l August 01, 2012 lViews: 235

As we add one concern upon another, and depths of concern we can't even explain, an unbridled anxiety emerges and manifests through an outburst we hardly reckon as ours. For some reason what

By: Steve Wickhaml Self Improvement > Anger Managementl June 27, 2012 lViews: 208

We are vessels for both love and anger. When people frustrate us, yet we cannot tell them, anger builds up within ourselves, creating anxiety, and potential for the anger to spill over in

By: Steve Wickhaml Self Improvement > Anger Managementl June 24, 2012 lViews: 205

As a passenger, I had to do my best to contain myself and keep quiet for 40 minutes. That was hard, but with paper and pen I wrote my questions for this person, unbeknownst to him, he was about to

By: Krystalina Soashl Self Improvement > Anger Managementl June 23, 2012 lViews: 170

When you need to let go of crippling emotional pain, you have to ask yourself a few important questions. This article focuses on five of these questions.

By: Andeline Williams Pretoriusl Self Improvement > Anger Managementl June 22, 2012 lViews: 183

Are you holding onto anger all day once something upsets you? Or do you accept it and let it go? It's your choice how you spend the rest of your day.

By: Debbi Dickinsonl Self Improvement > Anger Managementl June 22, 2012 lViews: 165

Why should Anger destroy your life and destiny? Anger is outrageous and should go down before sunset! Anger is the root cause of so many evil deeds and destruction in the world today. Learning how to

By: Ngozi Nwokel Self Improvement > Anger Managementl June 20, 2012 lViews: 192

Do you think that criticizing someone over and over is the way you get them to change? You know the "How many times have I told you..." syndrome. Sometimes we think with our children or spouses or

By: Sharon Gibsonl Relationships > Communicationl April 18, 2012 lViews: 201

Discuss this Article

comments powered by Disqus