Author Box
Articles Categories
All Categories
Articles Resources

Ways of Dealing With Someone Who Is Angry With You

February 19, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 140

Facing an angry person can be both a scary and intimidating prospect. You may feel angry at their anger, or bemused by their reaction. How to deal with this kind of situation can be a dilemma. You may well feel that you want to have your say and respond to them but inflaming the situation and making matters worse is an important consideration.

Let's look at ways of dealing with someone who is angry with you:

- Be firm. Say that you want to sort out the situation but need for them to calm down first. Refuse to continue the discussion and insist on your right to be treated with respect. Explain that nothing is going to be resolved whilst they are reacting so aggressively.

- Ask them to itemize their individual issues. Someone I knew had to deal with face to face customers complaints. He used to let them rant angrily for a while and then he'd get out a notepad and ask them to list their individual grievances. He often found that as they calmed down many of their original complaints virtually disappeared. They just needed someone to listen to them, after which they relaxed their anger and indignation.

- Consider involving a mediator. Sometimes a respected third-party can bring a calming influence into an angry situation. They can assess the facts, discover which are negotiable, which are sticking points, what each person will settle for as an outcome. Then they can help find ways to compromise and work towards that goal.

- Avoid insults or aggressive behaviour in response. It often exacerbates the situation and can cause matters to get out of hand, even violent. Responding angrily to an angry person gives them little choice but to retaliate. They are already out of control and your anger will merely inflame the situation.

- Decide what you want as an outcome from the situation. Will you ever need to see this person again, is this a one-off situation or something that happens fairly often. How you want to be perceived afterwards. All these are important considerations when you are dealing with someone who is angry with you. Can you simply walk away or does it need to be dealt with?

- Keep the dispute on point. It can inflame an already angry situation if you try to justify yourself by using examples, explanations and excuses. This can result in other occasions and situations being added into the mix. Keep on track and aim to contain and resolve the present situation.

- Apologize. Sometimes it is important to apologize in order to introduce some calm into an angry situation. You can limit your apology and say that you're sorry at their reaction or for causing upset. When they are calmer you can then say firmly that you feel it is important to discuss what happened.

- Try to stay in a public place. It provides a safer environment as people usually restrain themselves when other people are around. Sometimes couples choose to discuss difficult issues away from home as it keeps the conversation civil and more focused. If you do this it is important to limit alcohol consumption as drinking can heighten emotions and make matters worse.

Anger is often a way of communicating hurt, distress, and feeling badly treated. Finding constructive ways to deal with negative reactions from others is important. Learning the relevant skills can lead to more positive ways of communicating and managing the times when you're faced with someone who is angry with you.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.

Further help, advice and articles on this and other associated subjects are available.

For more information see

Source: EzineArticles
Was this Helpful ?

Rate this Article

Article Tags:

Angry Situation


Angry Person


Increasingly Angry


Find Ways


Calm Down


Matters Worse


Positive Ways

Imagine a 10,000 piece jigsaw complete with a picture and then a tornado comes along and rips it apart, the pieces scattered and the picture lost. Imagine that jigsaw falling back to earth in some

By: Tim Holmes l Self Improvement > Empowerment l August 12, 2012 lViews: 335

Personal growth and understanding of self are no different. We fear that which we do not understand and it is a choice as to what we do with that feeling of fear. I now understand myself very well

By: Tim Holmes l Self Improvement > Personal Growth l August 12, 2012 lViews: 310

If you are going to write articles online, you are going to inadvertently increase your critical thinking skills. The reason is simple - because as you are preparing an article you are explaining to

By: Lance Winslow l Self Improvement > Mind Development l August 02, 2012 lViews: 302

Back when I was in high school and college I was a spectacular athlete, and I'm not afraid to say so now. At the time, it might not been inappropriate, as it would have shown an inflated ego, but I

By: Lance Winslow l Self Improvement > Mind Development l August 02, 2012 lViews: 496

Brainwave entrainment is a great resource for self-hypnosis and can be very effective in helping you to access the brainwave frequency that allows you to change your core programming by changing your

By: Wanina Petlock l Self Improvement > Mind Development l August 01, 2012 lViews: 248

Simply put, brainwave entrainment is a process that uses sound patterns to change your dominant brainwave to a specific brainwave frequency that produces a certain, desired effect. Entrainment can

By: Wanina Petlock l Self Improvement > Mind Development l August 01, 2012 lViews: 235

As we add one concern upon another, and depths of concern we can't even explain, an unbridled anxiety emerges and manifests through an outburst we hardly reckon as ours. For some reason what

By: Steve Wickhaml Self Improvement > Anger Managementl June 27, 2012 lViews: 208

We are vessels for both love and anger. When people frustrate us, yet we cannot tell them, anger builds up within ourselves, creating anxiety, and potential for the anger to spill over in

By: Steve Wickhaml Self Improvement > Anger Managementl June 24, 2012 lViews: 204

As a passenger, I had to do my best to contain myself and keep quiet for 40 minutes. That was hard, but with paper and pen I wrote my questions for this person, unbeknownst to him, he was about to

By: Krystalina Soashl Self Improvement > Anger Managementl June 23, 2012 lViews: 170

When you need to let go of crippling emotional pain, you have to ask yourself a few important questions. This article focuses on five of these questions.

By: Andeline Williams Pretoriusl Self Improvement > Anger Managementl June 22, 2012 lViews: 183

Are you holding onto anger all day once something upsets you? Or do you accept it and let it go? It's your choice how you spend the rest of your day.

By: Debbi Dickinsonl Self Improvement > Anger Managementl June 22, 2012 lViews: 165

Why should Anger destroy your life and destiny? Anger is outrageous and should go down before sunset! Anger is the root cause of so many evil deeds and destruction in the world today. Learning how to

By: Ngozi Nwokel Self Improvement > Anger Managementl June 20, 2012 lViews: 192

There are many effective male role models who provide invaluable fathering to children in their formative years. Let's look to celebrate fathers on Fathers Day.

By: Susan Leighl Home & Family > Fatherhoodl June 20, 2012 lViews: 170

Many people will have spent some of their free time over Jubilee weekend with family and friends. Times like this are often an opportunity to reflect on what you can personally give thanks for and

By: Susan Leighl Relationships > Anniversariesl June 06, 2012 lViews: 202

Children get used to the way their parents conduct their relationship, no matter how difficult or stressful it may be. If their parents decide to divorce or father chooses to leave the family home it

By: Susan Leighl Home & Family > Fatherhoodl May 07, 2012 lViews: 170

These are the notes from my webinar interview for Positive Input on 13 March 2012. There is also an audio version available. Here are the salient points and advice.

By: Susan Leighl Relationships > Communicationl April 19, 2012 lViews: 178

We all gravitate towards the people with whom we feel an affinity; towards something that attracts us. When that quality is dangerous or destructive we need to recognise why we feel that way and look

By: Susan Leighl Relationships > Conflictl April 17, 2012 lViews: 220

Work is an important area of our lives. It provides far more than just an income. But several factors can interfere with our ability to work effectively. Let's consider some of the ways to get back

By: Susan Leighl Self Improvement > Achievementl April 11, 2012 lViews: 171