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Online Therapy Can Help Anger Management

June 16, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 192

Sometimes you may feel very emotional, angry or hurt or fearful. It is not OK to hurt (abuse) someone else verbally or physically when angry and emotional. If others are hurt, talking with a therapist or online therapy can help anger management.

1. Notice the physical signs of anger.

* a tight feeling in your neck, your hands, your jaw, your shoulders

* a hot feeling somewhere, maybe face or chest

* breathing becoming faster

* heart beating

* stomach churning

* wanting to fight or run

2. Before an explosion, take time out. Do something else to get calmer/regulated.

* go for a walk or run

* take a bath or shower

* do something calming like music or reading

* check your e-mail. Use online therapy.

3. Talk yourself down or talk to someone else.

Check out what you are thinking about the situation and the other person. Talking to a counselor or privately with online therapy helps. Don't exaggerate what is happening. It may not be as bad as you think. The other person may not be deliberately doing something. There may be reasons of their own for what is happening which might not be about you at all. Check out if you are attempting to control things too much. Are things out of control? Is it worth a fight?

4. Figure out why you are angry.

Are you angry at yourself or some one else? Are you taking it out on the person close to you?

Are the emotions really about other more vulnerable feelings like hurt, fear, sadness, disappointment, insecurity?

Are you suffering from stress, from alcohol use, from fatigue, hunger, worry that contributes to being on edge?

5. Express verbally and calmly, what you are thinking and feeling, to yourself and to another.

Assertively talk about what is happening with yourself.

Do not use hurtful (abusive) words.

Do not blame the other person. Explain yourself and listen to the other person too.

Your feelings are yours and are useful to understand yourself and others. You can take charge of how they influence you.

6. If you do flare up.

*STOP what you are doing or saying.

*Take time out until you are calm. (1 hour or more)

* Come back and talk about it to yourself and the other person calmly (assertively)

* Express your thoughts and feelings.

* Listen to the other person.

* Gain understanding of what it was all about.

* Learn from it (what to do differently, something about yourself or the other person)

If you find your lack of anger management is having a negative impact on your life, talking to a counselor face to face or online therapy can help sort out your thoughts and defuse the situation.

Jenny Ferns has over 18 years experience as a licensed counselor and psychotherapist in Canada. She holds a Masters In Counseling Psychology from Vermont College in USA. Jenny provides Online therapy and is a member of the counseling staff at

Source: EzineArticles
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