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Five Key Questions to Ask When You Need to Let Go of Crippling Emotional Pain or Prolonged Anger

June 22, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 182

Regardless of who you are, emotional pain and anger are inevitable. You will experience it at some stage. During such times, you may assume that you are fine, only to realise the negative effects on your overall well-being at a later stage. This happens when you did not deal with your emotional pain or anger when it happened. When you are consumed by crippling emotional pain or prolonged anger, you may find attending to your daily schedule very challenging. This is when emotional pain or prolonged anger become a problem that has unfortunate consequences on your relationships, your overall productivity in the work place and your physical well-being.

Unprocessed emotional pain often manifests in one or more of the following: sadness, depression, anger outbursts or escape mechanisms. Escape mechanisms include: alcohol abuse, drug abuse, inappropriate and / or risky sexual behaviour, working too many hours while neglecting to take time out to relax, self-destructive behaviour, self-sabotage, procrastination and health endangerment.

Key questions:

1. Is there a link between your inability to let go and your level of self-esteem and assertiveness?

When you are angry because of something someone else say or do, there is often an underlying lack of self-esteem or lack of assertiveness. The external person's actions or words then trigger what you already feel or believe about yourself. This is why when you feel good about yourself and when you are assertive, you also master the ability to not be as affected by the opinion of others.

2. When you are consumed by your anger or emotional pain, are you aware of any physiological changes in your body?

When you struggle with an inability to let go of prolonged anger or crippling emotional pain, you'll often find yourself being consumed by it. If you listen to your body, you will be able to detect a few physiological changes. These include an increased heart rate and shallow breathing.

3. When you look at what happened, what else, other than the obvious, could this mean?

Allow yourself to look a little deeper than the issue on the surface. When you are able to look past the surface, you will see that hurtful incidents often teach valuable lessons. Is there something about yourself that you need to change or is there something that you need to learn or prioritize. Searching for these lessons and finding them, have a positive effect on your ability to let go.

4. What can you teach as a result of what happened?

This question is the very reason why you will, after working through your prolonged anger or crippling emotional pain, have a sense of accepting or understanding of why it happened. More importantly though, you will see how you have grown as a result of the emotional pain or prolonged anger.

5. How can I manage future irritations?

Apart from the importance of letting go, it is even more important to learn how to manage future irritations, to ensure that they do not grow into an emotional issue or into anger.

The secret behind the process of letting go is that you have to change the meaning of your pain or anger.

Why an inability to let go is bad for your emotional and physical well-being

The Sponge Effect Technique will assist with answering this question.When you take a sponge, not bigger than the palm of your hand, close your hand into a fist and squeeze as to demonstrate the extend of your pain or anger. Hold this grip for about ten seconds. Now release.

What do you see?

Perhaps a few white, pink or red patches in the palm of your hand? Have you squeezed so hard that you can see imprints of the round edges of some of your fingernails. How does your hand feel? Perhaps a little achy?

What else do you see?

AHA - The sponge jumped right back to the original form.

You were unable to affect the shape of the sponge, regardless of the amount of pressure you applied. This is exactly what happens when you hold onto prolonged anger or emotional pain and have feelings of revenge. This is what happens when you are unable to let go. You are the only one who is affected, you are the only one who continues to suffer.

Love yourself enough to consider letting go.

Emotional Intelligence - The Art Of letting Go

A programme developed by Andeline Williams-Pretorius after her healing as a result of letting go of emotional pain and prolonged anger. This led to the discovery of the wonderful virtue of empathy.

Andeline was recently identified by African Innovations as one of "South Africa's Most Inspirational Women". Glossy page coffee table book to be available in August 2012.

Andeline is the author of a book on empathy and the creator of The Empathy Campaign; a campaign which aims to inspire people towards greater kindness and consideration.

Source: EzineArticles
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Article Tags:

Emotional Pain


Prolonged Anger


Letting Go


Emotional Intelligence


Emotional Freedom

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