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Don't Just Hear What I Say, Listen to What I Mean

February 26, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 176

Dear Real Estate Professional, Don't just hear what I say... listen to what I mean. Sincerely, Your Client

Not to be confused with the act of listening, this article focuses on the art of listening. Hearing is instinctive, listening is not. Effective Listening is a skill. Well-developed listening skills will contribute exponentially to your success.

Consider this; only 7% of communication is verbal. The other 93% is non-verbal. Whether it's buying, selling or renting your client is likely emotional about the process. If you're working with a first time buyer, they may be scared and unaware of what to expect. Sellers tend be skeptical or anxious to move forward. There may be some sense of urgency that causes anxiety. Investors are more likely to be focused solely on the bottom line. Use body language and subtleties to more accurately gauge their true desires which, by the way, may change throughout the transaction.

During conversation use an empathetic ear- place yourself in the position of your client. Don't allow yourself to get distracted. Suspend your own thoughts and feelings. Validate them by acknowledging and responding accordingly to what their saying. If you're not sure about something ask questions. Ask lots of questions to gain a clear understanding of what solutions you're able to provide your client. Your charge is to correctly explain their point, to them in your own words. Until you're able to do this to their satisfaction you have not fully understood. In the book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" Stephen Covey refers to this as the "Indian talking stick" approach.

Keep in mind that past experiences tend to greatly affect current beliefs and behavior, including your own. Don't let your objections be their objections. Just because you don't like something or can't afford something doesn't mean your client will have the same experiences or desires as you do.

Don't tune out when people say something you don't like. Don't assume you know what the person is going to say before their words are spoken. You might miss out on vital information if you do. Listening is not defined by simply waiting your turn to talk and it is not forming a rebuttal while the other person is still speaking. Avoid these kinds of behaviors to deepen your connection and business relationship with you clients. Do not interrupt, daydream or multitask while your client is speaking. Even when you're speaking over the phone.

I'll outline the basic do's and don'ts of listening.

Do-Concentrate on what is being said even if you're not interested -Repeat in your own words what your client just said. Or ask questions to gain more clarification -Listen completely to their point of view, even if you disagree -Ask for clarification when they use slang or words you're unfamiliar with -look them in their eye the entirety of the conversation -keep in mind your purpose for having the meeting or conversation -Allow them to express awkward or uncomfortable subjects without taking it personal -Take notes

Don't -Tune out when they say something you dislike-Assume you already know what they're about to say before the words are spoken -Plan your next sentence while the other person is speaking -React to a word. Hear them out completely before you respond. -Daydream -Use slang -Interrupt - Do not try to think for them ("I'd better not show him this home, I'm sure he wouldn't want to live in THAT neighborhood. No one I know likes it over there." Or "I'd better not tell him that interest rates went up today. He probably won't like that and will want to kill the deal.") -Get distracted by sounds or other environmental circumstances -Judge -Criticize -Blame

Let me clarify a few things. When I say look them in the eye the entirety of the conversation; I don't mean, have a "stare down" which is just as uncomfortable and awkward as if you looked over the other parties head commenting on things happening in the distance. Your gaze should be gentle and natural. If this seems like work- you're trying too hard.

Also, when I say don't multitask, it's ok to take a quick note about something you feel is important but make it quick and if you miss something, ask questions.

Listening skills have to be developed in any business but I think it's very crucial for real estate professionals.

I'll expound more on this topic on my blog The MPower Movement and my website at There you'll find a much more comprehensive version on this topic. I want you to be rich in Life, love and business. email:

Source: EzineArticles
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