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After My Wife Had An Affair With Another Man - What's The First Thing I Should Do?

February 28, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 436

Ouch! It is a situation dreaded by faithful husbands everywhere. The hurt felt upon discovering that your wife had an affair is sure to destabilize you. What do you do with these feelings upon finding out that she's been messing around with another man? Should you keep your feelings undisclosed, or do you reveal them for her to see? We'll answer this now, and talk about it in detail.

Without waiting much longer, let your cheating wife know how much hurt she caused to you and the marriage, and any children you both take care of. She must see your pain. You have to verbally put her in her place. That's right, she must know how much she has hurt you and your marriage with her atrocious actions.

- Keep Your Feet On The Ground & Don't Knuckle Up -

Don't resort to hitting her, ever. Even though your wife had an affair, it would be in your best interest to resist the urge to hit her and to break household items because you're frustrated. No matter how you slice it, there is no justification for being violent. If you have any minors, and they see "daddy's beating mommy," all of their resentment will be shifted towards you.

- Observations of Other Bad Stuff She's Done -

What actions did your wife take before you found out that an affair was taking place? Were they a cause for concern? Before the time in which your wife had an affair, it is certain that she would act strange or be secretive in some way. Time to let your wife know about the things she did, thinking that you wouldn't have noticed, and speak to her strongly about them.

- Other Things That You May Want To Avoid -

Wherever possible, you should avoid calling your wife by any grossly offensive names that would only serve to worsen the situation. Depending on what you call her, it may feel worse to her than a physical attack, and as stated before, don't hit her. Another thing you shouldn't do right now, is to mention or talk about divorce.

- No Need To Suppress Your Emotions -

Get in touch with your feelings right now. Let your feelings naturally flow. If you're feeling to cry your heart out, don't think because you're a man that you shouldn't. You are outraged because your wife was seeing some other man? You have every right to be. Just watch it with the name calling, and don't start committing acts of violence.

- "My Wife Is Telling Me That She Is Sorry" -

Your wife is probably begging for your forgiveness too. She betrayed your trust when she had that affair, and she has to become a better wife to regain that trust. She knew you would be hurt by the affair, so her goal was to keep it under wraps indefinitely. The irony of it is that if you were the one having an affair, she would've taken the news just as hard.

- On The Future -

The hurt, the bitterness and sadness you feel, seems like it will be with you for life. There is the old saying that time heals all wounds. In your case, that means your feelings are likely to subside in the near or distant future. Don't try to hold on to those feelings when they leave you, since it will only serve to make your life difficult. At times the feelings may come back naturally, but usually with less frequency and intensity, and that means you are starting to heal.

- Is Your Marriage Capable Of Surviving This?

A marriage can become stronger than ever, if issues are amicably worked through after your wife had an affair. You have to heal emotionally, before you can work on healing the marriage. The period of recovery will vary from person to person. It will take some time, that's for sure. There's no magic pill to make it all better. You and your wife will have to get into the relevant issues that negatively affect your marriage. Hopefully, when that time comes, you would have learned how to contain your negative emotions, but at this point in the process, just let out how you feel. After that, you can work on improving the condition of your marriage.

- Can Your Marriage Survive This Affair To Become Better?

Find out more by clicking my wife had an affair.

Source: EzineArticles
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