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After Cheating - Is Your Mate Committed To Restoring The Marriage?

April 20, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 190

The entire marriage was changed dramatically following the extramarital affair. Everything you might have taken for granted is now called into question. For example there were times when you would not have given a second thought when your spouse told you they'd be working late. With the economy being what it is you simply accepted the fact they were trying to bring more money into the household.

Now after an affair you're not so sure. Whenever the significant other tells you they may be working late your thoughts start racing. Is your mate telling the truth or are they up to their old tricks? At this juncture there is no way to be sure. You want to believe them but their past behavior is making it impossible to do so.

Your mate claims they understand your fears and will do everything within their power to fix the marriage following the affair. Which is fine however talk is cheap. The issue is just how dedicated are they to follow through with their pledge.

There are a few indicators you should use to measure exactly how sincere they really are.

1. Clarity

Following unfaithfulness one of the things that has to change is the transparency. In short the unfaithful significant other must be significantly more straight up in their dealings with you. Secretiveness (which happens to be a crucial element of having an extramarital affair) must come to an end. In the event that your significant other states they're working late they must prove it.

That will entail anything from checking in with you when they are at work to showing you their pay stub which will confirm the amount of hours they spent on the job. It could necessitate doing both of these things if not more. That might sound like going overboard but the bottom line is after cheating your marriage partner has got to prove they are genuine when it comes to their dealings with you.

2. Getting It

Whenever you voice your fears to the spouse after an affair do you feel they are paying attention and are willing to do whatever it takes to help alleviate those fears? Or do you get the feeling they can't wait for you to stop talking? Sometimes it does not have to be body language. Your spouse's words are dismissive in tone or perhaps they are not paying attention at all. You sense they are somewhere else and are just going through the motions until you finish saying what you have to say.

Other times it's concerning the frequency of effort. Your spouse may start out like gangbusters doing what needs to get done in order to repair the marital relationship following infidelity. But somewhere down the road their efforts get much more erratic or simply stops altogether. That may be a clear indicator that their commitment isn't exactly what it ought to be.

To find out more on coping with unfaithfulness visit how to get over an affair

Source: EzineArticles
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