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How to Give a Baby Up for Adoption

March 10, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 175

As soon as you realize you are pregnant and not sure if you want to be a mom, that is the time to begin considering adoption. If you wait to start gathering information about the process of adoption until you have "decided", you will have made the decision in a vacuum -- without having enough information to make a good decision. And without enough or accurate information, you are likely to make the wrong decision.

1. Start gathering information. The very first step is to start gathering information. And I say "start" because you will want to continue to gather information all throughout your pregnancy to make sure your decision to either place your child for adoption or parent your child on your own continues to be the right one. You don't need to rush into a decision either way. And don't be afraid of getting information about adoption. You can just "browse" or "window shop" the idea of placing your child for adoption. Getting information about something does not mean you have decided to do it.

2. Contact a reputable adoption professional. Attorneys who specialize in adoption and licensed adoption agencies are the best resources for unbiased information. Talk with at least three different professionals from different offices or organizations. If possible, go and talk in person with at least one. If that's not possible, and if you have access to the internet, use Skype or Oovoo to have a face to face chat.

3. Ask questions. Ask the same questions of each of the adoption professionals you contact. Compare their answers. You will get a feel for what rings true. You'll also get a feel for each professional's philosophy and approach to adoption. You want to make sure that whomever you choose to help you through the process honors you and your right to decide what you want for your baby. If anyone pressures you to "come in and sign some papers" or tries to force you to sign or do anything before you are ready, run for the hills! And choose a different adoption professional!

4. Complete the paperwork. Every attorney or agency will have you fill out some forms so they can gather information from you that they need to share with prospective adoptive parents. It is very important that you are completely open and honest about your reason for placing your child for adoption and your and the baby's father's health history. It's also crucial that you share with your adoption professional what the baby's father knows -- or doesn't know -- about your pregnancy and your plan for adoption. In some states (such as Florida), the father's rights can be legally terminated early on in your pregnancy.

5. Choose a family. Your adoption professional will help you choose a family. Make sure you have enough information and enough control over the process to be able to choose a family that you know you can love and trust. You should be able to meet the prospective family and even spend time with them during your pregnancy -- either in person or online via Skype or Oovoo.

6. Give birth. You may choose to invite the adoptive parents to be present at the hospital when you give birth and even be in the hospital room with you, if you like. It's your choice whether to extend the invitation for them to be present or not.

7. Stay in touch. During the matching process with the adoptive family you will have decided whether to stay in touch after the baby is born and how much contact you and they feel is appropriate. Usually, the adoptive parents will send you letters (or emails) and pictures frequently during the baby's first year and then maybe a couple of times a year after that. That's usually the minimum amount of contact you can expect. Some people are in much more frequent contact than that. It just depends on you and the adoptive family's choices. If you like, make a photo album of your life and give it to the adoptive parents. They can share it with your baby as she grows up. Make a photo album for you to keep all the photos of your baby you receive. It'll mean a lot to you as time goes on.

8. Live your life! You made the very courageous decision to place your baby for adoption because you believe it is what is best for you and for your baby. You gave your child the best gift any parent can give their child -- a happy, safe and wonderful life with two parents who will care for her and love her forever. So now, it is your job to live your life fully and happily. There is no place for feeling guilty in adoption, only joy and the confidence that you made the tough decision that any good mother in your situation would make for her child. Enjoy your life!

Because of a beautiful young woman just like you, I became a mother myself. I honor her and will be forever grateful to her.

I've been helping young women make plans about their unplanned pregnancy for over 21 years. My law practice is devoted exclusively to helping young women make a decision they feel good about - whatever their decision may be.

Find out more about all of your options. http://PregnantAndThinkingAboutAdoption.com is a resource designed especially for you.

If you want to talk, you can call me. I'll be happy to talk with you. My office number is 1-877-874-3715.

I send you love and best wishes as you face probably the most important and difficult decision of your life. Let my know how I can help.

Linda Barnby, Adoption Attorney and Adoptive Mother - for over 21 years

Source: EzineArticles
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