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Free Yourself From Misery

February 21, 2012 | Comments: 0 | Views: 153

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." ~ Wayne Dyer

Rick Warren said it best in his bestselling book, The Purpose Driven Life, "What happens outwardly in your life is not as important as what happens inside you. Your circumstances are temporary, but your character will last forever."

How many people do you know, or perhaps yourself, who are addicted to misery, i.g. constant drama, the poor me syndrome, complaining, whining, anger, feelings of doom, and depression? The word "addiction" appears in Webster's Dictionary as, "a condition of being a slave to a habit; strong inclination, devotion to a habit. Dependent on something without regard for consequences."

Most likely, the person suffering from misery has been crying the same tune for years, regardless of the consequences. And, no matter how hard you try to help them, it just doesn't sink in. Why? Because, they have chosen to remain where it's comfortable (at least for them)... in misery... back-floating in a cesspool of pessimism. But yet, they still complain as they sidestroke through the muck. For others, it has become quite uncomfortable and negative. And that's one pool optimistic people have no desire to swim in or soak their feet in, much less dive into! Imagine a green slimy pool filled with bacteria... would you swim in it? That's exactly what miserable people are swimming in, a septic tank full of dysfunctional sludge. They filter out none of the negative, they add nothing positive and continue to live as though their life is perfectly glorious! And then, everyday, they wonder why no one wants to go swimming with them. They are oblivious as to why no one wants to take a dip or for that matter even stick a toe in their life pool! People addicted to misery live their lives with blinders on by choice. And many misery addicts don't even see the stress they are putting on those around them. It's an addiction, like many other addictions- regardless of circumstances. Misery addicts are comfortable wallowing in their pool of misery- but often wonder why the water is cold.

What is addiction? The elements of addiction are as follows:

1. Denial2. Loss of Control/Powerlessness3. Continued usage without regard of consequences4. Repression of feelings5. Obsessive-compulsive thoughts and behavior6. Withdrawal symptoms.

Misery addicts are known for statements such as: "Nothing good ever happens to me," "I feel like I'm drowning," "I'm so lonely," "Nobody wants me," "I can't live without him/her," "It's because of everyone else, not me," "I wish I was dead," "I'm so depressed," and the list goes on. Sound familiar? Possibly. Many of us may have been there at one time or another, but many have moved on. We grew past it by choice. We made a conscious effort to change our lives for the better and to stop the miserable self-absorption. And you're no different! You're friend is no different! Wake up! Stop the insanity! We all have problems! We've all had tragic events happen to us, some more tragic than others, but these same people survived. And you're no different! You're human!

What makes people like Christopher Reeve, Helen Keller, Mother Teresa, and Oprah Winfrey role models? Simple. Under extraordinary circumstances they were not self-absorbed. Very easily they could have fallen into self-pity, self-loathing, and low self-esteem... permanently. It doesn't mean they didn't have challenging times- but instead, they made a CHOICE... a choice to turn their challenging situation into something positive for themselves and for others.

Again, remember Christopher Reeve? The reason I use him as an example is this, "Christopher Reeve was the epitome of someone who could have easily fallen into the trap of self-absorbing misery, but instead, he chose to use his circumstance to make a difference in the lives of other people- he chose to recover and use his life in a purposeful way."

Help yourself or seek help. Get strong. Do something to make a difference in the lives of others. Because there is someone else who is in worse need than you are. No one's perfect- we all have our bad days... the difference is whether YOU remain stuck or not. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's your choice.

"Resolve to find thyself; and to know that he who finds himself, loses his misery." ~ Matthew Arnold

Deanne P. Wells is the owner and Editor of the South Texas Women's World Magazine, a life coach, speaker, and author. She has published several self-improvement and motivational articles on life empowering topics. She assists women in business and personal to provide insight, structure, and encouragement in reaching their full potential.

Contact her for a complimentary coaching session:

Visit virtually:

Source: EzineArticles
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Article Tags:

Misery Addicts


Purpose Driven Life


Self Absorbing Misery


Christopher Reeve





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